Hive- reachout weekly prompt 73>>"‎‎When nothing feels new" // Hearing people making promises to me doesn't feels new because of many disappointments I had in the past.

This is a deep topic that touches everyone heart because in life and the way things are going it feels like nothing is new anymore. People have passed through so many pains and challenges in life that has caused them an emotional and mentally damaged. That every time they look back and remembered everything that happened in their life, tears and pains will flow out of their eyes. And especially theses days when everyone doesn't show a genuine and an honest sympathy and love towards. People love and care about each other for the things they can get from those people.

They will show concerns and care about you when they know they can benefits something from you. But once they will not benefits anything from you they will show no cares or concerns about you. People doesn't really love you sincerely and honestly except there's something they might have seen in you and that thing will benefit them also. Such things like wealth ,money, resources, influences or connections. But anyone that doesn't have such things I have mentioned above will hardly find real and genuine love from people these days.

In my personal experience and journey of life, I have been betrayed and disappointed by my uncles and aunties, friends and even family members. They will promise to help you with your school fees or job but will later failed you. I remembered when I was in the college of health sciences and technology keffi few years ago, my parents have spent a lot of money paying my siblings fees and especially my elder sister that's graduating from federal university Lafia in nasarawa state, paying for her seminars, projects and school fees as well. They have exhausted every kobo they have at hand then, and even borrowed some money to make sure they complete the payment of my elder sister project defense.

Back then three of us are schooling, of a truth that period even me I have had pity on my parents. Like how can my mother and father will be sponsoring three children in school at the same time from the money gotten from their pension as retired civil servants and little business my mother has been doing. Truly it hasn't been easy for us then. On this faithful day, my school was to go to an excursion in college of health and technology zawan plateau state and each students were asked to pay N15 thousand naira in two days times. I don't want to miss such an experience, couple with the fact that I have never been to the college of health zawan plateau state before and never wants to miss such journey of experience.

I told my parents about it and even though I knew they don't have money to pay for the excursion within two days because they have exhausted all they had on my elder sister's project. So I called one of my Uncle and explained everything to him, he ensure me he will send me the money that same day in the evening. I was happy I will pay for the excursion the next day if my uncle send me the money in the evening. I waited that evening I didn't see any credit alert. I have called him countless times but he didn't picked my calls.
The next day I called him and he said he couldn't give me the money because he doesn't have money.

I was like in my mind, is it not you that said you will send me the money in the evening yesterday and you didn't? but today you are telling me you doesn't have money. I became so angry and furious that my uncle disappointed me . That's how I couldn't pay for the excursion fee and couldn't make it to the college of health zawan plateau state Jos with the other students.

Another experienced I had was a friend whom I borrowed him money more than a year and couldn't pay me back. I was in need of money and I reminded him about the money I borrowed him and asked him I needs it to sort out my bills urgently. He told me to send my account details that he will transfer the money to me when he got to a place there's enough network because the place he is currently talking to me on the phone doesn't have enough network. I sent my account details to him happily and I have waited to see credit alert in the phone but didn't see. Through out that day I have waited if I could see a credit alert not haven't seen. I called him and he refused to pick my pickup. I was also disappointed by remembering myself isn't the guy that asked of my account details that he will send me the money he borrowed from me once he got to a place where network is accessible? . But now he didn't send the money and I have been waiting all day long having hopes in that money.

That's how I still couldn't get what I intended to do that period urgently done because I couldn't get the money I needed because of disappointment. Seeing and passing through these experiences I understand that never put your hope totally on a man because the person can fail you . People makes good and sweet promises but never fulfilled them. Because of my past experiences, now anyone that promise me he or she will do this or that for me I will just show signs of excitement but never believes it until the person fulfilled the promises.

Each time I see people making promises in an occasions or events, other people will be clapping hands joyfully and I will not do anything or see any good reason to clap for the person because I know that person might not fulfilled his promise at the end. There's no one that will stand and make promise to do this to me and my family that I will put my hope on such person. I feels like people have made good promised to me in the past but failed and disappointed me woefully. These time around nothing feels new to me each time other people or someone promised to send me money or support me.

I struggled with myself and hustle to make sure I get whatever am looking for if I want to do something. Either someone promised to help or support me or not, I will still carry out my duty and take my responsibility to get that thing done by myself and not to wait and rely on the person promises.

Lastly, just two years ago someone called me and told me he was told I studied medical laboratory technician and that's a good course and self employed course. He asked me to send him my CV and credentials that he will make sure I get appointment or employment with government. I heard him the day he spoke to me and I gave him my CV and credentials the following day and till date he hasn't call or chat me about the employment again. I wasn't shocked why he didn't call or tell me a feedback about the employment again because I have seen and experienced disappointed by close friends and family in the past so nothing feels new to me again, no disappointments feels new to me anymore.

I didn't relied on anyone until I wrote an application and submitted in a private facility myself and got a call for interview and that's how I got the private job am working currently. If I had depends and rely on people that promised to give me job or work after I gave them my CV and credentials I wouldn't have gotten this one that I wrote application and submitted myself.

Therefore, I have learned never to depend on anybody totally for some promises they might have made for me and make me not to plan or struggle for things on my own way. Apparently, there's no promise that feels new to me again, I have been hurt, betrayed and disappointed so I can tell there's no promise anyone can make to me that will feels new to me base on my past experiences.