One Of My Biggest Challenges
One Of My Biggest Challenges
While I was growing up, life was very fun and sweet. I was surrounded by many caring people who made life meaningful. Those days, my friends loved being around me, I can't count the number of times people told me I was fun to be with.
There was a friend of mine who always told me she found it comforting to converse with me. Those days, except she doesn't have free time, she's always at my place. I was her confider then, she believed I was a very good listener.
Life was like heaven on earth, there's joy in being surrounded by people who genuinely trust, love, and care about you. Their presence in your life and the time they give is something huge.
Each time I have a nice time with my friends and family, each time I see smiles on their faces as we interact, I find joy. It makes me feel loved and fulfilled.
But as I grew up things changed.
Different situations hit me over the years that transformed my personality. Today, I find it so hard to interact with people. After exchanging greetings, the next thing I am expecting from anyone is to tell me what the deal is so we can finish up and part ways.
Situations have transformed me into a loner, I don't find the company of people appealing anymore. You may think it's normal but even my family at home doesn't interest me to relate with.
I don't know the last time I had a good time talking with my mother or siblings as family talk less of my friends. It's just so difficult, at least on social media I am trying but physically forget it. I find talking with people annoying.
My mom has complained about the way I often stay indoors alone to no avail. I just love my space, I don't just want to be around anyone.
Recently a friend of mine said, "Emreal you've changed, i no longer feel the vibes I feel when I am around you, you are always acting busy, it's written plainly on your face that you no longer care."
I smiled, all I could do was apologize, which I did. The truth is, I have changed, I know it myself. I have been trying so hard to get rid of this version of myself but it's as if I am getting worse. Anyone who tries to get close to me gets me angry. It's as if they are coming to distract me.
There was a day my mother came to discuss something very crucial with me. When she noticed I was not so interested, she rushed the conversation and left. That evening I felt so bad about my behavior, but I didn't want to be with or talk to anyone for long.
That relationship between me and my loved ones is gone. I have been trying to bring back the old me that loves being with people but it seems it's gone.
I know it doesn't sound like a big issue but come to think of it, how will I cope with my wife and children someday if this trait persists? It's definitely going to cause me a serious problem. The earlier I get rid of it, the better for me.
Please feel free to share your opinions with me, I promise I won't take them for granted.
I can relate well when you said that situations has turned you into a loner. The calmer a person is, the more shit they've been through I. Life. I'm happy that you found your way through
It is not easy but am working on it, living bas a loner is a very terrible thing
Hi @emreal,
We all change. It is because of getting older and more experienced, because of our hormons, of the environment, the New rules and of the Chance of our society.
Everyone looks at his smartphone nowadays (when I was a child, we played football).
But changing is also always a chance.
Think of what and how you want to be. Plan your time regarding to this. And then become the man you want to be.
Regards, Achim
Growth is always accompanied by change, but it is expected to be a positive one.
I agree with you, the ball is in my court, how I play it is what matters, if I want myself back I can have it .
Smiles, it's nice seeing you after a long period of time, I have not been a good friend, forgive me for not checking up on you.
How are and your family?
There is nothing to forgive 😉
It is the same for me.
I am fine, thanks. I have had a few days off and I enjoyed it with my wife.
My son has got the confirmation, that he can start a job as policeman in September. He is very happy.
Hehehe, some times things happen that way. But I always have you in my mind.
That's beautiful, how is she doing?🥰
That goods news, please congratulate him on my behalf, tell him your little friend from Nigeria, says congratulations 🎉🎉🎉🎉
My wife is fine. We have the luck that we are all (more or less) healthy.
I will forward the congratulations to my son 😀.
When we get hurt, we close up, distance ourselves, become cautious, lose trust, act defensively (when it's needed and even more when there is no reason at all), and so on.
No matter how much we like it or not, whether we are aware and admit it or not, there is only one thing, one big emotion, driving it all from behind. Its name is FEAR!
We are afraid of being hurt again, and that's why it's easier to close up than "serve ourselves on a silver plate" for a potential new "hit."
When we become cautious about everyone and everything, we lose the ability to act and do things normally. It's like trying to exercise while your whole body muscles are in strong spasms. Impossible! In such a state, even our brain is "in spasm," and we can't think clearly, even less draw some realistic, common-sense conclusions. (Although, most often, we are not even aware of it.)
When we lose trust, we lose its silent, powerful companions too. Their names are LOVE & CARE! We can't care about or love someone or something if we don't trust them.
When we are not giving Love & Care, we are automatically shutting the entrance door for both of them to come our way (be given to us). If we closed the door for Love & Care, we also closed the tap of Life Fuel.
(How long a car can go without the fuel? - Until its tank is empty! - We don't function any differently, but we are usually not aware of it until our life-car starts hiccuping, driving its last meters on the last drops of fuel or even fuel vapors.)
Therefore, we wish you to get rid of that FEAR! Don't let it drain out your Life Fuel! - You can decide that because you are the only one in charge! You hold all the power to command that Fear to go away! (And you have all the rights to do it and unchain yourself!)
And you can do it because you are way stronger and braver than you think you are or feel at the moment!
Also, remember that every bad situation that comes our way and hits us comes for a reason, and that reason is always to teach us something. So, the main question (for all the different situations that hit you over the years) is, What have you supposed to learn from them??? — You are the only one who knows or can find the answer to that one! (But one thing is for sure: they didn't come to chain you into a dark dungeon of Fear! Quite on the contrary, all the bad situations you've been through armed you with a special detection ability that now enables you to detect the same or similar from a far distance, giving you the advantage to prepare and defend yourself.)
If you still don't know where and how to start getting out of this situation, try with small things.
Last but not least, don't be afraid to be hurt, disappointed, or face some unpleasant or even ugly situation. Remember, it's just a chance to learn something new, to grow yourself into a better person than you already are! You will harvest the fruits of passing such an exam later on; you'll see!
!ALIVE | !BBH | !PGM | !PIZZA | !LUV | !DHEDGE
@emreal! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @ vocup. (5/20)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want, plus you can win Hive Power (2x 50 HP) and Alive Power (2x 500 AP) delegations (4 weeks), and Ecency Points (4x 50 EP), in our chat every day.
@emreal! Your Content Is Awesome so I just sent 1 $BBH (Bitcoin Backed Hive) to your account on behalf of @vocup. (5/20)
Wow!! This is the best thing I have come across today. Actually it's fear that has been keeping me bound. The mistake I have been making is thinking that opening up to accept people will only make things more difficult.
I am a very young man but I have seen somethings with my little experiences, nevertheless, you are right, everything that happens to us happened for a reason, and it is to make us and not to damage us. My experience should make me a better person and not worse.
Those tips are wonderful, I am going to put them into action. And I won't be scared to get hurt, also I'll be expecting disappointment from anyone, any time hehhe..
Thanks so much for taking your precious time to help me out. And for the support, a bigger thank you 🥰
You made our day with your reply! 😀 Thank you for that! 🥰
We are deeply glad that we managed to help!
All the best, and have fun on your new fearless journey!
!ALIVE | !BBH | !PGM | !PIZZA | !LUV | !CTP
@emreal! Your Content Is Awesome so I just sent 1 $BBH (Bitcoin Backed Hive) to your account on behalf of @vocup. (1/20)
@emreal! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @ vocup. (1/20)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want, plus you can win Hive Power (2x 50 HP) and Alive Power (2x 500 AP) delegations (4 weeks), and Ecency Points (4x 50 EP), in our chat every day.
The pleasure is mine, thank you so much 🥰❤️🔥
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@vocup(1/5) tipped @emreal (x2)
Probably what you faced in terms of betrayal might have changed your personality to be a loner but one of the things I have come to discover is the fact that we change daily as we grow older. Some things we value we no longer count it much
Exactly ma, as we grow older, a lot of things fights us that makes those things we cherish look like trash before our eyes.
Thanks so much fire reading ma