RE: IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.

Well, your story is really a lot.

I am not a first child, but I have an elder sis and I really can understand all of these.

The responsibility that rest upon their shoulder is a lot, and if care is not taken, they wouldn't do anything for themselves in the long run.

I have told my sis to shut down completely from everything and everyone and go do something for herself too, else, she will continue giving and there will be nothing to show for it in years to come.

Best thing you can do is go do right by yourself, when you're well stabilize, they will understand and they will forgive you too, because by then, you'd be able to take care of them fully.