The Art Of Self Destruction

Ever since I've started my weight loss journey and lifestyle change, I've been thinking a lot about my habits, mentality and how I handle myself in different situations. It is my belief that if you understand what you do, when and why, you can really achieve anything you want. Obviously there are limits as I'm not going to get younger, not ever if I stand on my head all day and with age these limits are multiplying, but you can still achieve quite a lot, even things that you've thought are impossible.

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

Recently I talked to a psychologist, not as a therapy session, just a casual conversation as we have one in the family and we agreed that most people trying to lose weight would need a psychologist's guidance, in order to succeed. This is overlooked or neglected or whatever you want to call it, but I'm firmly convinced that it is the key to succeed. Usually when one is seeking professional help at the beginning of their weight loss journey, what their GP does is send them to a dietician, where they are advised what not to eat, if they are lucky they may get a list of food they can eat, maybe a menu for a week and good day, don't let the door slam you on your way out.

I've been in those shoes once, not for weight loss but for my gallbladder problems and trust me, the work you have to do to figure out the right way forward is not a joke. It took me some years to create a lifestyle that doesn't affect my fussy gallbladder.

Photo by Casey Lee on Unsplash

When I'm exaggerating with food I shouldn't eat, my gallbladder sends me warnings regularly and if I don't take them seriously, the consequences are pretty harsh and painful. This is not the case with food addiction, or not in a similar way. You get the warnings there too, like high blood sugar level and blood pressure, but as none of them comes with serious and immediate pain, it can be endured and most of the times go undetected as well.

The question is what you do when it is already detected as your behavior and lifestyle is going to define how much you live and how.

When you're young, you think you're indestructible and can survive everything, like excessive drinking, smoking, junk food, substance abuse, without consequences. That may be true till a certain age, but then the damage you do to your body can't be repaired anymore.

Photo by Victoria Shes on Unsplash

I've watched my paternal grandmother being severely obese all her life and the "official" version of her story was something like "poor granny is so sick". However, when I got to the age where I understood what's going on, could not be fooled anymore and knew "poor granny" was eating herself to death, no matter how you spin the story. I've seem her eating a whole bar of chocolate, a big box of ice cream and a good amount of grapes in one evening, when she knew she's going to have her blood sugar level tested in the morning. You can already guess that her level was over 200, which was a huge concern for everyone, but not her as she was happy that she could make everyone feel sorry for her.

I see this behavior quite often, unfortunately and most likely will never understand the logic behind it. She was quite old when this happened, but there's a long way to get to that point, which means she's been doing it for years, if not decades.

I see young people with family, small children, not caring about the consequences of their reckless behavior. I'm always thinking of their children, what example these people are showing them and the responsibility they are leaving to the other parent who is left behind when tragedy strikes.

Photo by Chad Montano on Unsplash

Thinking back I can make a list of people of my generation and even younger, drinking themselves to death at 35, hanging themselves to avoid the painful death that liver cirrhosis causes, or getting a stroke caused by high blood cholesterol, crippling the entire family for life.

I'm wondering if psychological assistance would have helped them deal with their addiction, or maybe they had professional help but could not make any difference?

Photo by Davide Cantelli on Unsplash

I'm at the point where my results are not only visible but disturbing for some, especially for those who don't want to change their lives. The funny thing is, I don't talk about my journey unless I'm asked, but some people feel the need to politely insult me anyway, to justify their decision to not do anything about their problems. It's like how dare I be different and why can't I just do what they do, which is abusing themselves endlessly. I'm trained for this, no worries and can return the favor, by insulting them politely and shut them up for good and if that doesn't work, then there's always the door and the lock on it.

There's always a choice to make. You either follow your plans and do what is required to make your dream come true, which is getting your life back on track, or you find excuses to justify why you're not doing anything to save your life.

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