I'm not a sorry person anymore || HL-contest w53e1 ||

Asking for forgiveness does not make a person bigger or smaller. I heard this from my childhood. Then our beloved Prophet also said that if asking for forgiveness lowers your honor, then take it from me on the judgement day. I always forced to say sorry whether it was my fault or not. I always thought that in order to save relationships, you have to compromise a lot. While living in a joined family, my mother made a lot of compromises. Watching her, I learned life lessons and preferred to always apologize.

My mother used to told me that by saying sorry can decrease alot of worries and save a lot of relationships. I was always afraid of losing people and it was my biggest fear. But with the passage of time we overcome from our fears by practicing lesson's. Everyone's kind in the start. It is the people who taught us how to treated other people according to their certain behavior. So, we get used with this cruel world.

I made a lot of friends at school who always cheated on me or put me down for something. This always happened to me then I went to college and it was still happening to me I thought all my friends were very loyal to me but they weren't. I always forgave them to keep the relationship going. So I got into the habit of forgiving.

Not that I don't make mistakes myself. Whenever I make a mistake, I never hesitate to ask for forgiveness, but I don't get forgiveness in return. I was always humiliated for my mistake. I forgive everyone, so why don't I get forgiveness on my time? Why is my mistake made a sin? As if there is no forgiveness for this mistake behind which my intention was to not to hurt anyone but still i apologized to my friend many times and also wanted to rectify this mistake but i was never given a chance for this thing then i was treated very badly. I was really dushurt at that time by seeing my loved ones behavior.

After that I made many friends and I did not forgive them for their mistakes but parted ways with them and believe me it was the best decision of my life as I parted ways with toxic people. Separated My life became paradise. They tried to fool me again and again and apologized to me so many times but I don't give a damn.

So now I don't like an apology at all, but I can say that at times I apologize a lot whether I was at fault or not, and when the other person finds out our weakness of being kind, they are taking advantage of you wrongly. Asking for forgiveness at a place where if a person values ​​your forgiveness, otherwise it's better to parted your ways from toxic people

This is all for today. See you guys on next post.
Goodbye.

Regards;
@eshafatima01