...In my feelings

image source

I have read blog posts and heard people talk about how they are not interested in doing anything for a long period except laying down or sleeping, sincerely I could never relate, maybe for a few hours I would feel that way and most times a brief nap would easily correct that and I am back to my responsibilities.

these past weeks, I have tried to get myself up and about even after taking long naps, Even though the body is willing my mind is weak. I have never been so tired of everything before...

I feel so overwhelmed, that words can't even express how I feel these days.

I have 2 projects I have to finish before the end of this month and thanks to how I feel I have completely abandoned it, even the few times I try to pick up my phone to engage on hive these past few days, I couldn't. typing felt tiring I just view, comment in my head and drop the phone.

The times I push myself up to get my laptop so I can get some work done regarding the project, I just get exhausted Just by looking at the screen while the system loads, and I end up shutting it back down.

I wonder if it's become of how overwhelmed I am by everything around me!!! I have always been able to handle stress and any form of pressure but this seems so different I can't completely explain it.

Well...

My baby's first birthday is just around the corner and for some reason, I am so anxious about it, even though I won't be doing anything extra, or party-like... ***but really how is it almost a year already🥺? ***

I should be making plans for his shoot or cake at least and party packs for his playgroup friends but I am just stuck in my feelings, knowing my baby is about to become a toddler is a lot.

My second wedding anniversary is a few weeks after his first birthday and yet again I get to celebrate it alone without my partner🥺.

oh, less I forget I Even have my birthday a few days before the anniversary

I know these are just dates but for some reason, I just can't help but feel overwhelmed about how these various dates will play out.

For a moment, I assumed the solution to getting out of this mood is a change of environment, so I decided to reach out to a friend who had her child’s birthday on the 12th, it was the right opportunity to relax so I had to let her know I would be sleeping over after the party, and she was so excited because she had begged I come for a while now and It was the right opportunity to take her up on her offer.

I went to the sleepover and I completely enjoyed myself, not having to cook for myself the whole time was blissful, having other people look after my baby while I binged Netflix. It was exactly what I needed and I was sure I was recharged and ready to take over and go back to getting things done.

Now I am back home and I am back in the same mood, tired, restless, and lazy. This is one of those times I am excited I decided to send my child to creche because I am not sure how I would have been able to handle a very active baby in this state of mind.

I needed to express how I was feeling and I know taking my notepad and writing about it would be the best way to speak up about these feelings. but unfortunately, I still don't know how to get out of this mood.....I guess I would take it one day at a time Like I have been doing these past few days, fingers crossed I get over these phase soon.

Anyways...
Do have a lovely week guys.
Until next time