The Haunt Manor

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Once upon a time, in a small town which stays in between the cemetery and dark forests, there stood an old, abandoned mansion known as Well-ink Manor. It was said to be the most haunted place in the entire Hive-ville. No one dared to go near it, especially on Halloween night.

On this particular Halloween, a group of brave friends (so they thought), Tosin, Tobi, Joan, and Big Fash, decided to challenge their fears. Armed with flashlights and a camera, they approached Moonlight Manor. The full moon cast an cold aura on the mansion but they brave themselves up and still approach the manor. Tobi said to them

Do you think its a good idea to come to the manor on the night of the Halloween, we can always come some other time
Then Big Fash replied to him,

You are always scared Tobi, if you don’t want to come with us you can just go back home.

The wind howled, making the trees sway and creak. The group cautiously entered the manor through a broken window. They walk through dark, dusty hallways with faded portraits of long-dead family members watching their every move. It was then Tosin started reciting the book of psalm as she held Big Fash hands

Even though I walk through the vallay of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.....

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Strange things started happening as they looked about the run-down rooms. Mysteriously the door shut and open slowly. The group of friends became uneasy, but they persisted because they were curious, they wanted to know if it was a spirit or not. They arrived at a room with a grand piano in the middle. The piano keys started to play an eerie song, as if they were being pushed by an unseen hand. Tosin, who had always been wary of the supernatural, felt a chill run down her spine. She turned to her friends, but their faces reflected her own terror. Tobi whispered, "Let's get out of here."

Just as they turn around to leave the room and run away, the door shut itself, they knocked on the door as panic struck but it refuse to open up. As they were doing their best to get the door open, a white smoke appeared on the piano taking the form a little girl. It was the ghost of a little child wearing a frayed white dress. She appeared lost and depressed, like she was looking for her mother.

Joan, the bravest of them all, feeling empathy for the spirit, bravely stepped forward and asked, "What do you want?" while the rest were looking with terror in their eyes. Tobi whispered to Big Fash

Is it a good idea to ask ghost question?

The ghostly girl pointed to an old, dusty journal on the piano. Joan picked it up and began to read aloud. The journal belonged to the girl, Anna, who had lived in strange Manor with her family. The journal told a heartbreaking story of being trapped in the manor, unable to leave even after her family had long perished.

Joan voices shakes as she spoke, she made a promise to Anna to help her spirit find rest and reunite with her family, she then asked Anna spirit if there was a way to help. The spirit pointed a the journal and the piano. Joan looked through the journal and found a melody note written in it then asked if anyone understood what it meant. Big Fash took a look at it, he was a pianist so he understood the keys of the melody. He walked towards the piano and started playing the notes.

A beautiful melody filled the manor and a gentle breeze started blowing, the doors and the windows opened gently as the melody filled the room. In an instant, Anna spirit transformed into a thick white smoke then flew through one of the opened window.
The doors were open, Big Fash and Tosin held each other hands, as they all made their way out of the mansion. Since that day it wasn’t known to be a haunted manor and Halloween became one of the most love holiday for them.



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13 comments
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This is beautiful

😀
At first when I saw the names my thought was Halloween in Nigeria?

It's good Juan took the brave step to inquire of the spirit else the group of friends would have stuck there till God knows when.

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Heheh
I used the names of my friends that’s why

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Hi @fashtioluwa. Your story is so interesting and clever! But it would be so much better if you would take the time to check for grammar issues. There are some easy ways to do this. For example, you can draft your stories in Google docs, as we describe in our article, Help for the Grammatically Challenged in our catalog of fiction writing tips. If you do that, you will see many of the errors underlined, and then you can click on each one to see the recommended fix, and select it to fix it.

One of the issues in this story is that you switch back and forth from writing in present tense to writing in past tense, and then back again. It's important to pick one and write the whole story that way.

For example, these are past tense sentences:

Once upon a time, in a small town which stays in between the cemetery and dark forests, there stood an old, abandoned mansion known as Well-ink Manor. It was said to be the most haunted place in the entire Hive-ville. No one dared to go near it, especially on Halloween night.

The words that indicate the writing is past tense are in bold.

And this is a present tense sentence:

They walk through dark, dusty hallways with faded portraits of long-dead family members watching their every move.

Here's one more tip for you. If you write someone's name as the one who owns something or is wearing something, you add an apostrophe and and "s" to indicate it is theirs. For example, the apostrophe and s are missing here:

she then asked Anna spirit if there was a way to help

Here it is corrected:

she then asked Anna's spirit if there was a way to help

We encourage you to take a little extra time to check your work for errors before posting. It will help you to receive higher rewards!

Thank you for joining the Halloween prompt. Keep writing!

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Thanks for the feed back
I will get the google doc today

It’s just that I don’t know if I can get google doc on my laptop as I only have it on my mobile

But I will take to the correction and try not to make the same mistake again

Thank you so much

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Spooky! Glad they could find a way out. Although Juan was the bravest I believe the presence of others also contributed to their getting out in one way or the other.

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I like haunted mansion stories and yours has an ending. The detail of the music and the piano gave it an original touch so that the spirit of the girl could get out of that prison.
Regards @fashtioluwa

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They surely have mind if I were there I would have fainted immediately the door close by itself
Nice write up bro

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🤣🤣
I trust naija kids

I would have spray anointing oil straight up

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The story is really interesting big fash (the brave boy)😂. I'm sure I would be Tosin in the story because how will doors shut themselves and someone wouldn't panic? Nice story Fash!

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