Blogpals and virtual friendship circles: 21st century pen pals

I am old enough of an age to remember real letters. I loved getting letters. At boarding school, we'd all gather at break time (recess) as the prefect on duty collected and handed out the post. Letter in hand, we all had our rituals: rip it open and read; gently slit open the envelope and devour the news. If it was from a loved-one, there was no need to open the envelope to know the sender: his/her handwriting was instantly recognisable. Some girls would quietly pocket their letters and wait until after school to find a quiet corner and read.

What did I do?

Usually, I'd carefully slit open Granny's letter (it was usually Granny) and scan it. Then I'd re-read it. And read it again and again, remembering how she sounded and smelled.

Love letters in hospital

After a near-fatal car accident the then BF's weekly love letters made my three-week stint in hospital more bearable. I should have kept them, but I think I threw them out when I settled down with the BF that would become my first husband. Or in a fit of pique. I don't know. It doesn't matter...

Pen Pals and Blog Pals

That was also the era of the pen pal. It wasn't unusual to exchange letters with someone in a far-off continent and stories of how these friendship both last decades and move from paper to real life. I found it hard to connect with a stranger.

I have long reflected on the parallel between this old fashioned practice and what we have on Hive and in our virtual communities. The connections begin with our blogs on the blockchain and then move into one or other Discord channel. Depending on how those connections grow, they move to personal DMs and/or smaller friendship groups.

Real friends - for years

Next year I will celebrate both six years on the blockchain and my sixth decade. I just realised, writing this, that that's two sixes. I'm not sure of the significance of that, but what I am sure of is the significance of some of the friendships I've built on the blockchain - and which go back to year one.

I am slow to share deeply personal things in public. Generally, my posts don't go beyond ranting about a bad day, and with broad allusions to difficulties. However, in the channels I've mentioned, I have a posse of virtual and real friends that have had my back through some very difficult times.

Because, as I said, I'm kind of private (as are most of them), there will be no details. Actually, details are not important. What is important is that I find myself, like those "old fashioned" pen pals, more than open to taking the friendship from the paper virtual into the real.

This was reinforced in the last few days.

It seems apt that this happened over Thanksgiving. While some of us connected more than daily at the height of the pandemic, it's much less often now. That said, we all know that we're "there" - for each other. We care across the miles and we pop into each others' minds at different times - especially on important days. Like Thanksgiving. Or just because, or sparked by comment interests, concerns. Then we pop into our virtual lounge and pick up where we left off - across the miles, continents and time zones.

Virtual and voice

Having had the occasional voice chat's made it even more real. Voices in your ears are different from voices in your mind from reading words.

This was reinforced (again) this week when across three continents, three of us who have never met feel comfortable enough, to not just talk about sharing some web2 related costs, but to do it.

My mother would have said: how could you? With virtual strangers? My riposte would have been, and is:

They're virtual, only by virtue of our connecting in the virtual world, but in every other sense they are very, very real.

Grateful

For every single person in my Hive virtual friendship circle, and beyond that posse of three, I am very grateful. You know who you are. I hope and look forward, one day, to a real, not just virtual clinking of glasses and breaking of bread.

Post script: I am trying to participate in @traciyork's November #HiveBloPoMo. I emphasise trying because the last two months have been exactly that - trying. There have been times that I've just been too exhausted and uninspired to post, let alone write something profound. That shouldn't stop you - or anyone. Read about how to participate here.

I've made it to day 27!

Until next time, be well
Fiona
The Sandbag House
McGregor, South Africa

Photo: Selma
Post script

If this post might seem familiar, it's because I'm doing two things:

• re-vamping old recipes. As I do this, I am adding them in a file format that you can download and print. If you download recipes, buy me a coffee. Or better yet, a glass of wine....?
• and "re-capturing" nearly two years' worth of posts.

I blog to the Hive blockchain using a number of decentralised appplications.

• From Wordpress, I use the Exxp Wordpress plugin. If this rocks your socks, click here or on on the image below to sign up.

• Join Hive using this link and then join us in the Silver Bloggers' community.

Original artwork: @artywink

• lastly, graphics are created using partly my own photographs, images available freely available on @hive.blog and Canva.