I Am Tired And I Am Grateful

I am tired and i am grateful.
Hmm... that is my life motto lately.
It doesnt mean that all ths time i never be grateful though, it is just i want to keep reminding myself to be grateful all the time.
I am very tired, especially mentally.
There’re many days that i feel like i just want to close my eyes and sleep for a long long time.
There’re many nights when i feel like haunted by such a indescribable feeling that always torture me in my mind.
I am scared for nothing a lot of times.
I feel so tired to the point that my eyes feels hot and heavy.
But most of the time, i slap my face and wake up then do something positive.
Sleeping is really important to our health but i dont like to sleep when i am in bad place mentlly.
It will just makes me feel even more weak.
I love to sleep when i am happy and in content position.
I think that is the best time to sleep.

There’re many reason why i feel so tired.
This long pandemic really take a toll on me, especially mentally.
There’re so many canceled plan in my life.
Other than that, other people in my life is affecting me in both bad and good way too mentally.
I am very understand that this pandemic changed all of us so i am very understanding why some people decided to do something that is out of their character.

Though there’re many difficulties that i met, still, there’s no othr choice but to be grateful.
The world is beautiful place and God is kind.
We just need to work harder to find the good in everything.

I dont know, this kind of post might sounds like nonsense but it feel better to be able to talk about myself and not hiding my own true weakness.
I cant even say anything in front of my best friends and family.
Blockchain is really a great place.
I say it again, i am so grateful that i have this platform that able to become such a place where i can heal my heart even just by a little.
I always feels so much better after writing a post.
My heart feels so much lighter even when my head is pounding.

I wish that everyone will always safe and happy.