Burial Celebration culture

Mrs. Alice lived a rather unpleasant life towards the end of her life despite being blessed with up to 7 children most of which are highly successful in their careers. She became a widow during her early 50s and has since been living a lonely life.

All pleas for her to move to the United States by her children who are all based there fell into her deaf ears. She opined that the cultural adjustment might fast-track her demise. She’ll rather die peacefully and all alone here in Nigeria.

Since she would not listen to the voice of reasoning, the children abandoned her for years until the news of her death brought them back. She collapsed all of a sudden and was quickly rushed to the hospital by neighbors who happened to witness the event. She survived the situation but became partially paralyzed. Life became rather unpleasant and all efforts to bring some of the children home to come and take proper care were defeated. None of them refused to show up or send any money until they received the news of her death.

The children did not just come home to bury their mother, they came to celebrate as well. Tens of cows were killed with plenty of food and drinks to go around. Music was flowing from popular musicians as everyone was singing the praises of the children for bringing honor to their mother. Millions in Naira were spent celebrating the death of their mother while just a small percentage of it could probably have kept her alive.

Burial Celebration Culture

My phone rang all of a sudden sometime last week. I looked at the screen and saw that it was my dad calling. I felt a tinge of guilt in my body because it has been a while I paid him a visit despite being just a few miles away from him.

I picked up the call and was about to go on an apology spree when he interrupted and informed me that the burial ceremony of his aunt would be this coming Saturday. That could only mean one thing - money.

I have always made it a habit of reiterating to my dad that I am not one of those that celebrate burials, largely because it does not make any sense to me, and secondly for religious reasons. I am a firm believer in taking care of one's parents while they are still alive and having a minimalist burial for them when they are gone. This is why I make it a duty to always send a token to my father (my mum is late) at the end of every month, no matter how little.

I calmly reminded him of my stand concerning the celebration of deads. Even though I am certain that he was not happy, he pretended as if he understands and the discussion moved to another topic. The event led me into writing this post.

Some parts of Nigeria, including my own Southwestern region, are fond of celebrating their deads even if the deads lived a pauper life while alive. They throw large parties and spend a lot of money. In most cases, it does not matter if the children or families of the deceased have the money to throw around. They go as far as taking interest-based loans from microfinance banks just to fulfill a non-sensible cultural obligation and essentially, in their words, to prove that the dead left behind responsible children.

Apart from my dad informing me about his aunt's burial ceremony, a neighbour of mine that we both sometimes complain bitterly about how austere the economy is, especially the high prices of foodstuff, just finished celebrating the burial of her mother. I once overheard her shouting at this same, now dead, mother about how her problem is too much just because she was sick and throwing up. she categorically told the old woman to die if she wants instead of disturbing her with sicknesses every now and then. I am certain she took a loan to celebrate the burial because I overheard her telling her children that they will suffer because all her salary would be used to offset loans for a while.

^{By Mogens Engelund - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=3713401}

The Extremes

In the case of Mrs. Alice, immediately her children heard of her demise, they ordered that the body be deposited in a morgue and sent the necessary funds to cover expenses. The body stayed up to 6 months in the morgue before a date was fixed for the burial. Expensive matching clothes were picked for those that would be attending and on the D-day, undertakers were seen carrying the gold-plated coffin of Mrs in all sorts of acrobatic manners, dancing and entertaining the guests in the process. So much for a woman that died due to inadequate attention.

Make it make sense

I have gotten into several arguments concerning this practice of lavishing money in the name of burial celebrations. What exactly do people derive from such, permit me to call it, total wastage? Several reasons have been given which, up till today, make no sense to me. some of these reasons are:

To show appreciation for a well-spent life

Of course, some deads whose burials are celebrated do, indeed, have a well-spent life. Despite that, I still do not believe that lavishing money to show appreciation is necessary. Who are we showing appreciation to? To the people that come to the feast? To God?

If anyone is feeling generous, I believe there are far less glamorous, discrete ways to go about it. I mean, society is filled with people that can do not know where their next meals will come from. There are orphanage homes all around the country as well.

To show that the deads have children

What difference does it make if a dead person has children or otherwise? Who are they even trying to show off to?

There are more reasons given that I cannot recollect right now. I only remember the 2 above because they are less ridiculous than the rest. In my own assessment, the reasons why people celebrate burials border around so many things which include but are not limited to:

• Ego satisfaction
• Show off
• Greed and corruption
• Societal pressure

Final Note

Celebration of burials is not limited only to some cultures in Nigeria. It cuts across some other countries in Africa and beyond the shores of the continent as well.

I am of the opinion that deaths and the subsequent burials should humble those of us that are still alive. We should rather give the dead a minimalist burial instead of throwing some lousy, money-wasting parties.

What do you think?

Below is a documentary by BBC on some pallbearers doing their thing somewhere in Ghana. This video went viral but will be dropping it here for those that missed it.