Marriage; Are you truly prepared for the journey to forever?
Everyone has different opinions about marriage and that's because of the experience they have had so far in it. It would be wrong to tamper my belief about marriage just because of what's happening in Mr and Mrs A marriage. While Mr & Mrs A are lamenting about their marriage not working well, Mr & Mrs B are happy so what do I believe about marriage?
I will be unfair to myself to see things through their lens and the best thing for me is to use their experience as a guide, observe their mistakes and avoid it, get to know the things they are doing right and practice.
Marriage is a beautiful thing and even though I am not there yet, I have been in a happy relationship for some time now. A lot of people think it is beautiful while some think it is hell, I don't intend to change anyone's view or mindset and I will just share a few things I understand about marriage.
I mentioned earlier that using others' gauges for your marriage affairs can lead to a very big problem.
In the world today, a lot of marriages are falling apart and it's sad that one of the couples has to be a victim. The reason why people go into relationships these days is hilarious and these things have caused many marriages to crash and somehow, some people still don't see the reason to stop going into marriage for the wrong reasons.
Wealth, beauty, and fame aren't genuine reasons to get into a marriage with someone because these things don't last forever. The question is when they are gone, what would be left in the marriage?
Some people go into it because of peer pressure, doing it because others are doing it doesn't make any sense either. When things begin to fall out of place in the marriage, the pressure would vanish and no one will come to your rescue, don't be surprised that those you choose to satisfy would end up laughing and mocking you for taking the wrong step.
The union of man and woman to spend the rest of their lives together isn't a joke and it requires a lot of things to be checked before making such decisions.
It hurts my heart whenever I see marriage falling apart because it is one-sided and those who aren't ready don't know how much they are hurting the ready people. It ends up as a disaster when an unserious person agrees to embark on that journey with a serious person.
Marriage requires more than financial preparedness, I have seen people who think once there is money, the next thing is to tie the knot.
It requires physical and mental preparedness which are the things that would sustain the marriage even when money is not flowing in as it should.
There are a few things I would love to touch about marriages.
It is impossible to meet someone on the street today and get married to them the next day. Marriage involves a gradual process which includes dating and courtship before marriage. Through this process, a lot of things happen and sadly, people bottle these things up until they get married. Years after marriage, it becomes unbearable and problems begin.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and it would be unwise to spend it enduring abuse and problems you ought to have considered earlier. Ignoring red flags before marriage is one of the greatest mistakes anyone can make regarding relationships.
If he or she is not ready to let go of unhealthy habits for the relationship, it is pointless to stay hoping for a miracle and it is best to make up your mind before taking the oath of forever is the deal.
A lot of marriages are struggling today because couples placed too many expectations on their spouse. Let's imagine there is a device trending and you decided to get the exact product because of the trend, you have placed too many expectations on and it turned out to be the opposite of what people are saying.
You feel disappointed right?
That's the same thing about marriage, placing too many expectations on it can ruin a marriage quickly. It is the journey of two imperfect beings who are ready to live through thick and thin, and marriage means the readiness to be dedicated, truthful and honest to one another.
Compatibility is another issue that ruins marriage in the world today. People don't care about how compatible they are with whoever they are tying the knot with. Compatibility is a big deal because there are a lot of things involved and that's why I always encourage courtship before marriage.
Behaviours, health compactibility, sex life and many other things must be properly checked to prevent lots of problems in the future.
It is a long list of things to discuss about marriage and what matters most is to be honest with ourselves about what we are going into. If you are not ready, there is no point going into it.
I am not expecting a marriage to be always great but with huge understanding, love and commitment, I believe that even the bad days will still have traces of happiness in it. Bad days are inevitable but when we're both mentally and physically prepared, these challenges would be overcome.
Marriage should be for companionship, care, support and other good things. Using the language, "Is it worth the trouble?" is not my style.
I expect troubles but these are challenges that come naturally for humans and whether you are in a marriage or not, these things have high chances of them still happening. There is more than just trouble in marriages and it doesn't feel like trouble when the couple are truly into one another.
I hope I have been able to pass a message even as an inexperienced person. Feel free to share your thoughts about marriage in the comment section, thanks for reading.
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I also believe that marriage is subjective and totally depends on the people involved. Some people make it look very easy and full of fun, but while others makes it look like it's the worst decision you could ever make, but all that doesn't matter if the two people involved are committed and determined to make it work
Yeah, everyone has a different view about marriage and it's best to know what you want than make other people's choices for your marriage.
We all can't take the same step and get the same result, there will be something different in my process that will change my result. We just need to figure that out to build a happy home.
You are quiet right that there is no miracle in marriage. A lot of people marry hoping for a their partner to change after marriage but they didn't see that change they become disappointed and start regretting why they married the person.
I always tell people that it is better now to start at all than to hope that a miracle will happen. Some humans can't change so it's best to iron out what you don't want before agreeing to walk down the aisle.
Yes, it should be like that but sadly in our region in case of engage- marriage they don't get the opportunity to date and marriage decided based on background of each other.
You have shared your opinion here and I am totally agree with your opinion.
That's a serious issue for me, what if the two aren't compatible? How do they cope when they aren't used to each other???
I also think the same. But it's not a problem is both of them try to understand each other and keep respect between them.
You have a point, understanding and respect will go a long way for them if they both pisses the same habit.
You are right, marriage isn't something to be decided light-heartedly. It is a lifetime commitment and work. Your have discussed it well.😉
It is indeed a lifetime commitment that needs to be thought about carefully before taking an step on.
Yes 💯.
You already said most of it, just to add to what you said, I think one of thing people don't understand is life comes in two ( good and bad ) and the high expectations of thing that some people feel like marriage will be all about make me wonder if the world as become Hollywood or bollywood.