Losses [Week 139]

A few years ago I lost my two younger brothers. The first one was Enrique and the following year it was Luis.

In January 1997, at the beginning of the year, I received the news that my father had died of a heart attack. That news made me feel devastated. I knew that someday death would come to the family, but I didn't think of those negative things for myself.

In 2012 my mother left this dimension after years of fighting a brutal disease; a metastasis that was consuming her.

I came to think that those two events were the worst thing that could happen to me in my existence. The pain was tormenting, but I overcame it.

In the year 2019, exactly in the month of September, it was announced to me that my brother Enrique had suffered a fall that caused him to fracture his pelvis and right humerus.

I brought him home and there I cared for him, took care of him and watched him degenerate due to a deadly bone disease. In the early morning of June 6, 2020, a weekend, he died hugging me.

On May 27, 2021, I receive a call from Argentina informing me that my brother Luis was in a hospital in the city of Buenos Aires in a coma. On June 2nd he died. The reason for the death is due to the wounds caused by a delinquent to steal his Mercedes-Benz; a murder.

All were difficult times for the family, but the loss of my two younger brothers changed my life in ways I could never have imagined.

Those blows, so close together, hurt me (hurt me) deeply. It broke my heart and I have had a hard time getting over the enormous sadness.

The anguish I felt was almost unbearable and I have suffered in silence for all this time. According to what I have read on google, there are specialists who claim that mourning fades after months, but I don't agree with that.

I felt completely empty, and I constantly asked myself why this had to happen. Why to them who were younger than me? Death should come in the same order in which we came to life, it was not their turn, it was my turn. I felt deeply sad and alone.

Sometimes I wondered if I could ever be happy again. But, over time, I began to look for ways to overcome the loss and move on.

I learned to accept what happened and tried to focus on the good things in life. I started to dedicate myself to the practice of yoga and meditation, which helped me to find calm and peace. But that was temporary, the pain was there.

Until I met an angel, an excellent woman psychiatrist who later became a good friend. She helped me to feel a little better and to remember that life went on and that I had to face the situation. She suggested that I tell others how I was feeling.

Talking to friends and family, and sharing my feelings with them, helped me release the feelings of sadness and anguish that I had been holding in for so long. This helped me feel a little less alone in my grief.

Finally, I knew I had to move on with my life. I decided to honor the memory of my siblings and my parents by remembering all the good times we shared, and reminding myself that life is precious and must be enjoyed to the fullest.

Today, I can proudly say that I have overcome the loss of my loved ones and I am ready to move on with my life. I feel stronger than ever and I am ready to make the most of every day I have left. Life is a precious gift, and I want to live it to the fullest.

Part of my improvement I do it contributing with a group of friends who give joy to sick people and those who go through bad times due to losses suffered. I am a storyteller.

I must express it with sincerity, I am grateful to @galenkp for having placed this option of "lost", because with this I drain the feeling, because even though time has passed, there is still crying in me and these words that I have shared with you is part of the things that help me to be better.

The pain will never go away, I live with it.