This weekend, death is not an option [Week 142]

Before writing my crazy stuff on Hive I had a full-time job like everyone else. I performed my assigned duties and when it was fair my pay was transferred to my bank account.

I really liked my job, but like all things, there is a limit and I reached that limit. I had to retire to live more relaxed, get up late in the mornings, and enjoy the view from my home.

I am going to tell you about my last job, which was a weekend, so you can know why I retired.

As I mentioned, I had a job like everyone else, I was a spy in the service of the government and had been appointed to the mission of stealing a secret formula created by the enemy that could have a devastating effect on the planet.

I knew it was a high-risk mission, but I was determined to do whatever it took to protect my country and the entire planet.

I was able to reach the destination country, managed to infiltrate the enemy base without being seen and put my hand on the formula. I was about to leave when I was intercepted by an enemy guard.

We hit each other up to the whites of our eyes and the photo of the ID card was also hit. When I had him subdued, seven more guards came in, and to top it off, each one was more than two meters long.

From the shock, my eyes welled up like a goat-sucking tamarind. I tried to run away, but my exit options were reduced, I had to fight my way through the bad guys.

I came to my senses thanks to a strong jet of cold water. I was tied to a metal chair, I had no shirt on, no shoes and my phone was in the hands of a burly man with a big beard like a saint's, but totally red. It was Boris, a ruthless killer.

The guy had huge hands, and the first thing I thought was that I didn't want him to hit me with those monstrosities. Of course, they had gone through my belongings and hadn't found the formula. They knew I had taken it, but it was nowhere to be found. That had the red-bearded giant in a very bad mood.

They could not stand still and hit me to justify their salary and thus try to get the information about the whereabouts of the formula out of me. Justify the salary, because they also do their job; we all get paid to do something.

Seeing that they were not achieving their goal, Boris told me:

-Since you have been a good adversary, I will give you the choice of how you want to die.

Those options for dying were:

• Being eaten by a shark.

• Falling from an airplane without a parachute.

• Being trampled by a herd of elephants.

I replied that it was very kind of you to allow me to choose, but my choice was not on that list and that I preferred not to die.

Boris exported from his big mouth a great laugh that shook the dirty walls of the room.

-Then, I will choose your way of dying, I will give you the choice of elephants.

They put a black hood over my head so I couldn't see anything at all.

When they took it from me I was standing untied in the middle of a huge courtyard. Around me were four dirty reddish walls and a tiny brown door.

When I raised my face to see the height of the walls and to look for a possible escape, I saw Boris and his henchmen laughing from one of the towers.

I didn't see anything threatening me, but I knew that wouldn't last long.

It wasn't long before I felt something very heavy coming toward me. A herd of angry elephants began to poke their long trunks through the tiny door. I thought they would never get through there, the gate was so small and the size of those elephants was from earth to heaven. But the bastards not only broke the door, but they also knocked down the wall.

The stockings I didn't have on crumpled and I felt something between my legs rise up into my throat.

I looked for a way out of that predicament, I became like a cat and jumped all over the place, I found a rope and with it, I could make a loop and attach it to a column's rafter. With that, I swung and jumped over the elephants. I did not want to be crushed to death by a herd of elephants, that was not an option.

As I was approaching the elephant-shattered wall to escape, I received a blow to my head.

Again I was sitting in the metal chair and in front of me was Boris, the red-bearded giant with a big smile.

-You were saved from that one, but in the next one, nothing will save you, so tell us what you did with the formula and I'll let you live. -Boris said to me, in a soft and sarcastic voice. -I don't have it, big guy. -I answered him.

Another time they put the hood on me and after a while, I was in a very big pond. I didn't like that very much.

-Let's see if you can get out of this one! -shouted the giant from above.

I was in an immense glass-walled pool where all the minions could see me. I submerged to look for a way out since there was no option on the surface and I found nothing, only a metal gate that was closed and that did not give me a good impression.

What had to happen happened, the hatch opened and a white shark the size of a nuclear aircraft carrier came in. The huge animal moved from side to side and I stayed still so as not to attract its attention while I thought about how to get out of there.

To my surprise, the white shark had a sizable mole on its nose. My soul returned to my body because that mole meant that this was a vegetarian great white shark; a rare and little-known species. Being eaten to death by a shark was not an option for me and again I was seated in a metal chair.

Boris was already stubborn, his face was that of someone both frustrated and angry.

-Save yourself, friend, tell me where you hid the formula and I will let you live, what is coming to you has no salvation. -He said taking my jaw with his big hand.

-Let me have my glasses, if I am to die, let it be by seeing well what surrounds me; I am short-sighted," I said to the villain.

They put the black hood back on me, with which absolutely nothing could be seen.

When my hood was removed, I was at a clandestine airport and was about to board a single-engine plane.

-Good riddance, Mr. Agent! -Boris shouted, "Now you won't be saved from the big fall without a parachute!

He said goodbye with a big smile and with his big right hand that almost covered the sky.

One of his accomplices made me board the plane, sat me down and he sat next to me. My hands were tied and my glasses had been returned to me.

What they didn't know was that my glasses were my communication with my base. Immediately, as the pilot moved the plane into position for takeoff, my glasses began to send the signal of what was going on.

I looked around to see if help was coming, but nothing was happening. I broke out in a cold sweat and started to look for something to free me.

The plane took off at a high altitude. It seemed that I had no salvation, I would be dropped without a parachute and only the ground would hold me back.

I had no choice, I had to take control of the situation, so I started coughing and bent over to make it look like I was having a seizure. Boris' accomplice came over to sit me down again, but when he turned me over I hit him with both my legs and he shot out of the plane with the door open.

I had eliminated one, now I was missing the pilot. He pulled out a gun and got up from his seat.

-You, like you want to kill us, how are you going to stop flying the plane, you're crazy. -I shouted at him.

But the guy did not pay attention to me and rushed at me. I did the same to try to take his gun and in the struggle, the pilot fired several times and destroyed the instruments of the plane and all the glass. I swallowed thick spit because I was scared, I saw myself lost, and now I was going to die.

The pilot had a parachute on his back and he dove into the void. I looked down the nose of the plane and the view did not look good.

It occurred to me to jump in and try to catch up with the pilot to get ashore with him; that's what I did.

The night was cold and dark, I could not locate the pilot, it seemed that I had gone in the wrong direction, and now I was about to fall like a banana, my fate was sealed and there was nothing else to do.

Suddenly I felt a strong impact on my back, it was one of my companions who had parachuted from a large plane flying at a higher altitude than the single-engine plane.

I almost kissed that friend for saving me. We descended hugging (well, I hugged him) until we reached the ground. On the ground, I thanked the universe and made the decision that I would retire from my job. Dying from a fall without a parachute was not an option either. The formula was guarded, I had sent it with my glasses in an encrypted message.

I am now retired, enjoying my weekends safely at home writing for Hive.