TOP CHILDHOOD MYTHS OF ALL TIME

What would be childhood without myths?, the kind of stories you consider as tales of moonlight

Our parents made sure to tell us these lies about life before civilization; they were likely passed down through the years, but we found them amusing or terrifying.

However, in some parts of west Africa, especially Nigeria, we have a lot of childhood tales that our parents and relatives told us, and it only took time for us to remember these tales.

WALKING OR CROSSING BODY

To add to Newton's Law of Motion, Isaac Newton would have added a fourth law if he were still living. The fourth law of motion states: "An opposite body should not cross over a body of mass (a human being) when it is at rest or on the ground; if it does, it should be undone by crossing back; otherwise, the body of mass will suffer the penalty of death."

When we were young, we experienced "layphobia," which is the fear of lying down. If you lay on the ground and someone crosses over you, it is thought that the person who crossed over you should reverse the death sentence by doing so.

THE WEATHER COLLISION

The meteorological myth that a lion is giving birth to a child when it rains and shines simultaneously at the same time is one we all learned about as children. This myth is a groundbreaking fusion of meteorology and biology, and Charles Darwin, the father of evolution theory, would be trembling in his grave right now as he would be shocked to hear and see what African Parents developed.

SODA AND FRUIT MYTH

I can't even remember how many times our African parents warned us that if we drank Coca-Cola and licked a mango at the same time, we would die because a chemical reaction in our stomachs would result in death. I myself have never attempted it because I don't want to pass away too soon.

I had no idea what Coca-Cola had done to our parents, but I could tell they had problems with soda. It's possible that they had problems with endorsement or sponsorship deals, which would explain the myth, but to this day, I have never tried Coca-Cola and mango together and I never will.

TEETH GROWTH

When African parents advised us as growing children to throw lost teeth on the roofs of our homes for lizards to eat, they unlocked a new dimension in the field of dentistry. We thought that lizards, not conventional science, were in charge of the development of our teeth.

SWALLOWING ORANGE SEEDS

The Agricultural Department of African Parents warned us that if we accidentally swallowed orange seeds, they would germinate in our bodies and begin to grow—we would then have an orange tree inside of us. It was one thing to love oranges, but quite another to guard against swallowing the seed.

GHOST-GHOST

For those of us who had heard of black magic, there were legends about some well-known ghost names, such as "Lady Koik Koik," who got her name from the steps of a female heel and was said to carry anyone she caught. However, our parents went one step further and told us that we would see ghosts walking if we spread our legs wide and looked in between them; to this day, I have yet to see a ghost.

FUTURE LEADERS

I was already familiar with the song "Parents listen to your children, we are the leaders of tomorrow" before I ever applied for high school. We almost sang until we passed out because we had such a strong belief in this song, but in Nigeria, you can only be the leader of tomorrow when you are very old, possibly between the ages of 80 and 90.

The key is education, yet in this country, education serves as a padlock to permanently lock your life.

THE BIRD CONSPIRACY

African parents believed the plot would not be complete without mentioning the soaring birds of the sky, so it was necessary to introduce the idea that a white bird we called Chikeleke would grant you an extra finger when you sing, "Chikeleke give me one finger, chikeleke give me two fingers," and then, bang, it would happen right away. In order to maintain my mutual respect and understanding with the bird, I still refuse to hear that song or even call the bird by name because I could not afford to grow an extra finger

PREGNANT WOMEN

According to our midwives, if you cross a pregnant lady, the child's DNA automatically changes to yours since the infant would look exactly like you. This is why it is believed that you should never interact with pregnant women. It is no longer DNA but Cross-NA, which defies decades of scientific development and reasoning. Women who are expecting would beg you to turn around right away so they can undo the DNA switch.

ITCHING AND WEALTH

Our school of brilliant minds believes that itching on your body is a sign that you have money and that the pace of itching is directly related to your level of wealth. Childhood offers the quickest path to becoming the richest person on Earth.You have more money for yourself the more itches you have. I still lack any kind of fortune to this day, despite the fact that men and women still itch, but things seem to be going in the opposite direction.

DRINK COCONUT WATER OR EAT FISH BRAIN

It was the idea of the medical team of the African Parent Association to tell us that medically, you would be rendered useless and dumb when you drink the sweet water inside coconut and hence when you are dumb in real life, we call you "Coconut head" and the department of Animal Science proposed that if you eat the brain of a fish that you would automatically become a fish and till date I do not eat fish brain but drink coconut water.

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