RE: To make peace with myself
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It's good that you were able to quit smoking. I went through something similar about 6 years ago and now I am never tempted to have one ever again. I have replaced it with another form of nicotine so I am no saint but at least the new nicotine that I use (snus) doesn't have any cancer associated with it.
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Dare not to use the word "quit". Until the day I die, I won't know if I'm successfully quitting it 🤣
It's good that you don't like smoke anymore. I am on the other side, even when my colleague is smoking, when I smell it, I can almost taste it behind my lips 😅 I still need to put down my effort to remind myself not to touch it, and 1 sip of smoke is enough to put me back into the rewind ⏪ button.
I had quit for more than a year in the past and then had "just one ciggy" one day and of course that lead to me being fully back into being a full-time smoker. It's kind of like giving a recovered junkie just a little bit of heroin.