For quite a few years now I have been living in my own little corner of this earth, far away from bustling city life, even far away from a quieter but still lively village life. Just in the polder, with only the rhythm of nature and the company of my dogs to guide me through my days. This has many advantages for me as a highly sensitive person. There is no problem with overstimulation here, on the contrary. At times it can actually be too quiet even for me. But you can adjust if you are too quiet by going out and looking for the hustle and bustle yourself. The fact that I have not or hardly done this for a number of years has more to do with financial reasons and the limitations that this entails. But in the years that I've been living like this, I've developed a habit of reading the news every day so I don't feel like I'm living under a rock. To ensure that I stay informed of what is going on in the world. And even though I do this myself, and no one tells me to do this, this habit is becoming a big problem for me.

An Autumnal World of Depression

Even if I don't see it up close, but only through a screen, the constant enormous amount of bad news, downright alarming news just makes me depressed! It is like the dark clouds that gather above the polder landscape in autumn, through which the sun can rarely shine its rays. What kind of world do we live in today? I remember our entire country being shocked when someone was stabbed. The whole country was really in an uproar and it made all the front pages for at least a week. It was widely reported on the news and everyone was talking about it.

A few years ago you were actually sure that a murder had to do with a settlement within the criminal circuit, being murdered for nothing because you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time simply did not exist here. A few years ago you could just leave your back door open when you left home, whether it was during the day or at night. I still remember the notes that my mother would simply stick on the window of the back door on the rare occasions when she was not home when I got home from school. In her typical block letter handwriting she then wrote, so to speak, "The key is under the flower pot next to the back door". She might as well have just left the back door open. Or what we often saw, people who had a string hanging from the mailbox next to the front door. Just pull the string and the front door opens. This string always hung outside, no one even thinking about pulling it in when they left home or at night.

The Autumnal Fall of Innocence

That wasn't all that long ago. But there's no way you can still do this now. When you leave home, everything has to be hermetically sealed and you still have to hope that your things are still there when you get home. Houses are protected with cameras because even violence on the sidewalk at the front door is no longer an exception. Nowadays, a report that someone has been stabbed is casually reported in the news, but no one is shocked anymore, people shrug their shoulders and life goes on without any disruption. Nowadays people always happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Every day you hear about innocent people being murdered. Only when it really concerns a massacre is more than one line devoted to it in the news.

The Autumn of Misunderstanding and Division

After World War II, everyone unanimously decided, "This should never happen again." And what do we see today? One war after another is being fought. People beat each other's brains out because they don't happen to have the same opinion. It's like the leaves in autumn blowing in all directions, with no set pattern. The world has become chaos, where understanding and harmony have become scarce commodities, just like the last autumn flowers that bravely try to bloom in the midst of withering nature.

The Autumn Storm of Negativity

But if you think that violence is our only problem, you are mistaken because there are so many other problems that threaten our future. There is so much negativity in the news that it makes me depressed. It is too much! It's like the rain that taps incessantly on the windows in the fall, and all you can do is hope for a rare moment of clarity. I know, I shouldn't worry about it all that much... but that is a thing. That's what I do, and I just see things going completely in the wrong direction in so many areas.

The Autumnal Burden of Worries

It can be felt on every frequency. In the news, but also I feel it among the people. People are no longer so friendly, and the whole atmosphere is different. There is nothing pleasant about it anymore. The world has become hardened and yes...I worry about that. Of course, I know that I can do little or nothing to change it. I only have control over myself and my actions. Yes, I also decide how my dogs live... but believe me, that's really enough for me. Fortunately, I have no say in the future of the world... but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it.

The Autumn Look at Beauty in the Darkness

Despite that, I don't forget to enjoy the beauty that I can fortunately still see in my own environment... The environment that now looks very autumnal again. The weather is certainly very autumnal, and that autumn is probably also the reason for my depression and the reason that I am now more sensitive to all negative influences. It is like the autumn colors that, despite the gloom of the world, still beautifully adorn nature. Time for me to go outside with my dogs again, get some much-needed daylight and vitamin D... and enjoy the autumn colors that are now in abundance.

The Beauty of Autumnal Hope

While the world is shrouded in autumnal gloom and the storms of negativity rage, one thing remains unchanged: the opportunity to enjoy life's simple pleasures. Fall may be a season of decline, but it is also a time of reflection and contemplation. Perhaps, amid the dark clouds of depression and division, we can discover the beauty of hope, like the colorful autumn leaves that remind us of the ongoing cycle of life.

In a world that sometimes seems to drown in negativity, we can still find the strength to cherish what we hold dear and fill the autumn of our existence with warm memories and love. As we feel the autumn breeze and the earth beneath our feet smells of fallen leaves, let us remember that even in the midst of the darkest days, the promise of a new spring always shines on the horizon.