Suddenly Surprised By A Bad Day Again

Yesterday was another one of those days. A day when I felt unable to post a blog. It just remains strange how you can suddenly be surprised by such bad days if you are struggling with depressive symptoms. Things get better like this, and then suddenly there is another day when the tears are high and there is no room for a laugh. That worries come flooding back to you and... well, anyone who has experienced it will recognize it. Fortunately, I now know that these days, no matter how hard they can be, will pass. And luckily today was a better day, albeit just a little bit. Unfortunately, it is also a familiar pattern for me. If you struggle with depressive complaints, it is unfortunately never a straight line to getting better.

Today Is A New Day

But as I said, today was a new day. And when I woke up this morning, the sun was high in the sky. That alone gave me a spark of courage. I didn't know yet what I was going to do. That is also a disadvantage of these types of depressive complaints. You no longer even look further ahead than just the moment. Fortunately, my partner is not so much bothered by this, and he told me that some work in the garden was planned. I know from experience that it doesn't interest me at first, but afterward, I always have to admit that being outdoors is good. So it would be outside. First I had to quickly go to the supermarket and when I came back, I saw something that immediately made me smile. My partner had left Myla and Skipper outside and they were waiting for me at the gate.

A Helping Shepherd

My partner had just demolished a large flower box, and he was shoveling all the black sand that had come out of it into another box. And Skipper thought that was interesting work. When we started to stretch plastic over the strawberries, the rascal started digging in the middle of the just-filled container with great dedication. So what I saw when I looked back, it looked very funny and I decided to quickly take a picture with my phone. It was clear that Skipper took great pride in his work. When he noticed that I was taking a photo, he looked up from his work for a moment, wagged his tail happily when he saw all the black sand he had thrown out of the bin, and then continued.

Tomorrow I Have To Clean Up The Mess

My partner found it somewhat less funny and sighed that he now had to clean everything up again. I promised him I would do it myself tomorrow. I could have stopped Skipper but I thought it was too funny. Then it's only fair that I clean up the mess I made myself tomorrow, right? Let Skipper enjoy it for a while, dogs just need to dig now and then. Tomorrow is another day, and I'll clean it up. To make my partner happier, I quickly made coffee for both of us and afterward, he too could see the humor in it and we laughed together for a while about Skipper, who continued tirelessly with his 'work'.

These little moments are moments that I am grateful for. Just small, everyday moments that make me smile. They are small victories on days when laughter is hard and tears are high. I'm not there yet, but I'm not completely collapsing anymore either. It's always a matter of trial and error, unfortunately, but I now know for sure that CBD oil will help me with this, and of course, Skipper and Myla also help.

Keep The Faith

Today Myla seems to be doing a little better. She's still a long way off, but today she could at least walk a little better. Seeing her slightly less shaky steps was a source of hope. Myla still wants to continue, which also gives me the strength to continue. She also receives CBD oil to support her.

We remain hopeful, but we are currently taking it one day at a time. Small steps, both for Myla and for me. Tomorrow is a new day, and we draw our strength from that.

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