I Would Do It All Again In A Heartbeat | Day 2 | BloPoMo
A relationship I'd like to mend
Now that I've said A, and started the #HiveBloPoMo, I have to say B too. For today @traciyork had an idea to talk about a relationship you would like to mend. And when I saw that, my first thought was, "Pffwww, that's not something I want to talk about". A relationship that you would like to fix means that you actually really miss that relationship, and that's not really the nicest thing to talk about, is it? Then I thought to talk about the relationship I had with my camera, and how much I want to restore it. But that would be lame, so I decided to tell you about a certain relationship that I would like to restore if I had the chance. Although I think this will never really be possible again, and if the relationship is even somewhat restored, it would never be the same as it was before. We have changed too much for that, and too much time has passed. Time in which I had to accept that the friendship is no longer there, and will not come back.
Travel back in time
Let's go back in time to the year 2008. That's the year I bought Rowan, and with him by my side, I struggled out of that deep depression I've written about before. Because I wanted to be the best owner ever for Rowan, I searched daily for tips on raising puppies, and that's how I ended up on a dogs forum. A forum with all dog owners who gave each other tips, but also told each other nice stories about their dogs, and where photos of the dogs were shared. Needless to say, it didn't take me long to establish myself on the forum, and I proudly posted one photo after another of Rowan, but also of Micky and Myla.
We met through a dogs forum
Soon nice online contacts arose and one of those contacts was with a woman who had 5 dogs together with her son, and who also lived fairly close to me. We decided to meet in person and we hit it off right away. We had many common interests, of course. Both she and I both had shepherds, and we both loved photographing those shepherds. That first meeting quickly turned into a very good friendship and together we went for long walks with our dogs and took the most beautiful pictures. There were also the days when we left our dogs at home and went out together to zoos to photograph. We drove all over the Netherlands to other members of the forum where we had met to photograph the dogs of other forum members. And once we had researched Myla's pedigree and discovered that she came from real KNPV parents, we started looking for more information about that. She was well known in that world, it was all new to me, but I soon learned to find my way there too and together we made new friends there. On KNPV practice days, we went there all day as 'official photographers' to take pictures. And another highlight of our friendship, which shows how much our friendship revolved around photography and dogs, was when me and my sister went on holiday to Germany with her and her son, and all our nine dogs. Those were fantastic times that I look back on fondly.
Changing circumstances and lives
But times change. Lives change, and circumstances change. And that is what has unfortunately caused the friendship between her and me to die. It's been about 8 years now since we last spoke, and if I'm honest, I still miss her. If I ever wanted to restore a friendship, it would be this one.
Hard to swallow
It's always hard to accept when something so important in your life falls away, but after so many years I can't help but accept that it will never be that way again. It was very difficult to accept that, it didn't just happen. It also hurt me a lot, and sometimes still does. I miss the times when we went out with our dogs and took the most beautiful pictures. I miss the days when we went out without dogs to shoot, I miss laughing at funny moments, and oh… those funny moments were many. We often doubled over with laughter. I miss sharing our passion for photography. I miss the friendship we shared. I miss her.
The smile of remembrance
I know this friendship will never recover, circumstances have changed too much for that, I have changed too much for that in all the years since we last saw each other. But the memories of when we shared this friendship, yes they make me smile and wish I could turn back time to 2008. I would do it all again in a heartbeat!
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I feel I'm missing key components out of this story. You had me hooked, a blossoming story of friendship and connection, and then you ripped the rug from under my feet - shame on you lol!
But how did it die? Was it just one of that you both slowly grew apart through time and circumstance? Or was there some key parts to this story that had both of you ending that friendship.
Moreover, if you miss it, what's stopping you from reaching out? :)
Lol, OK, I'll try to explain it briefly here. Changing financial circumstances, (loss of my income), changes of location (we moved to another village further away from her home address). Those two things together made it much more difficult for ME personally to maintain contact. I did my best but noticed that it actually turned out to be very much a one-way traffic. So it turned out that if I didn't call her, I shouldn't expect her to call me. If I didn't go to her, I certainly couldn't count on her coming to me. With the sale of our car, and only having a prepaid card to call in an emergency, the possibilities disappeared for me. And where she had all the possibilities, she herself made no effort at all. That hurt me, but that's exactly what's holding me back now. More has happened, but it goes too far to describe it in full detail now.
Oh interesting. I've had similar things happen to me in the past!
Oh i get it now, i was also looking for this explanation in your story. Its so sad when the love and effort is one sided and i get it why you are still holding back. But whatever decision you take i wish you all the best😃
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Oh, then it was less of a mutual thing, and more her pulling away :( ... It's definitely on her to reach out if she's ever interested, you did your best.
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As much as you miss her, maybe it's time to say hello again :) ... Who knows, there could be many new laughs in your future :) ...
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Like I said, I know this friendship won't recover, and even if there would be some contact, it won't be the same anymore. So no point in even trying that. I have my fond memories and that's it.
Whether it would be the same might not matter? It might be different, but still special? Unless something happened to cause it to be cut completely :(
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Read my reply to brofund, and then you'll understand why I won't give it another try. 🙂
Thanks for your visit and comments, appreciated!
Rather than regret why not pick up the phone and see what transpires, time changes people change, mutual respect with same outlook very seldom !LOLZ
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You would think after just reading the blog, but if you read the comment that I wrote back to Brofund, you'd know that it won't have the outcome I'd hope for. No point in trying here. I have my fond memories and don't regret one moment. But that's it.
Put down to circumstance, such is life!
I enjoyed your story although it was sad. This has happened to me and even though I've tried to repair a friendship, people change and you are right, it might not be the same again. Sometimes, having a different kind of friendship can still work but for me it didn't. If you do take the risk in getting back in touch it might not work, but then again you might be pleasantly surprised. It's a difficult one!
Thank you for your comment, it's not that difficult. I know there's not even a point in trying to reach out again. I have my fond memories and that's it. I'll never regret it ... but even if there would be some contact again, it won't work for me either as it will never be the same again. And why would I even screw up this fond memories to replace them with something not so fond? No, I'll just leave it be and enjoy the memories and the life I have now.
Yes, if you are happy with that it's all good.
There are always moments and people from the past that we will miss, life is constantly changing and we have to fight to adapt to that change. Photos make us relive those special moments that made us very happy, it is part of what we have left. Greetings
That's exactly one of the reasons I love photography. It's capturing those special short moments in time forever.
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Dogs are cool to have. I haven't had one before but will definitely have that with time. Your dogs are cool and beautiful. From the write up I can see that you miss that relationship more than any. You can definitely get them back if you wish. The picture is showing how cool your dogs were to you
Not sure if I understand your comment right, or if you understood the blog right. Anyways, the blog is not about my dogs, and on the photo is not me, but the friend I miss sometimes. 2 of the dogs on the photo are her dogs. The third dog is mine.
Wow, thought you were talking about you dogs
Lol no, I have 3 dogs in the house, 1 of them is in this photo. But I was talking about the friendship I shared with the woman who I have pictured on the photo.
Wow ..2008 was another lifetime
It was not a friendship, it was sharing moments with someone.
It sure was another lifetime, and it was a great time.
I think it was a friendship, but not strong enough to survive the ever changing circumstances of life. Now I am convinced that people come into your life for a reason, and if they disappear from your life over time, then that also has a reason. However, it does not alter the fact that I think back to that time with a smile, and cherish the many photo memories of that time.
mayby you would go back to that time, i would not, 😎 Yess, she was a good person and for you a great friend, but for me it was not such a great time. You know why. But i understand why you would go back in a heartbeat, and i do understand why you still miss her, you and her were in those days so close, and that's hard to realize that such a friendship, which seemed so strong, is over.
Oh I know. Certainly! There really were things, and what I miss is the many pleasant hours we spent together with dogs and cameras at all kinds of locations throughout the Netherlands. Nothing was too crazy. The many moments when we ended up in a fit of laughter again. That she and I always seemed to understand each other completely. But what I certainly don't miss is that it turned out to have been mainly one-way traffic afterwards. And you also know what I mean by that. Nor do I miss being screwed over with things I lend to her that had meaning to me, and then never got back.
So yeah, we had great times together, it seemed like a great friendship, and those are the times that I do miss. But it's not for nothing that this "friendship" passed ...