LOH:297th: The hard Part

I'm more of an introvert, it's not what I would prefer to be but I think my upbringing played a huge role on that.

I didn't grow up in the villa with my parents and other siblings, Instead my aunt who lives in the city took me from when i was around 7 or 8 year old, and this aunt is more like a retired Army General in character and deeds, so somehow this timid, shy, low esteem started cripping in as a result of the constant shouting, nagging, verbally abusing, I could not speak openly cause I was always shouted on, beaten and verbally abused, so that timid personality grew over time and wasn't able to do so much especially where people are, I prefer quiet place to myself alone I began to gain confidence in my diary instead,

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growing up life was tough and rough, speaking up was a problem, I was shy and scared they would laugh at me or what I would say would be a total rubbish

growing up I realise that I'm actual built with dual mode, I can switch between been an introvert or an extrovert, I still believe maybe I was an extrovert rather than introvert but my upbringing forced me to being an introvert.

due to this upbringing I find it hard to share certain aspect of me, I know there are part of us we don't want people to know that we are hurting, struggling, going through a lot by the ways so we rather bottle it all in, than share cause trust is expensive

I found Confidentiality in writing instead, my feelings, my thoughts, my frustration, my fears, my diary became my most trusted ally instead of opening up to humans I trusted my diary, I rarely trust people, you can share a matter with your closest friend and hear it from another person.

on the other hand i want to air my thoughts my feelings, my grievances without feeling guilty or shy or laughed at, I want to stand and talk to millions of people boldly unapologetically airing my thoughts I want to break out of my shell and become a voice to millions who are timid shy suffered from low self esteem as a result of verbal abuse I want to matter cause my life isn't mine alone thousands of others are connected to me, these why i have to open up and be the voice, the hero.

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