ABOVE DEFEAT

It's funny how no matter how you try to do something the best way you can you keep getting the error result, it's quite alarming and overwhelming most of the time and at that point you feel defeated and hurt! Well, for me, this is the time when I just want to cry it out and pause for some minutes or hours and give it a try again (there is no room for giving up, hehe).

There are quite so many times when I've felt defeated and hurt because things just seem to never be in my favour. All my life, I've fought with the mentality of always being average in literally everything I do. I have always felt like I've never for once done anything that I became the best in not until recently. Seeing how others did better than me every single time despite how hard I tried to be better messed with my mind most of the time.

While still in high school, I had issues leveling up with my academics every session but I still never did exceptionally well but some others did. Why? Why was it always so? I'd ask myself back then. Beside my academics, I was also average in other things which made me think less of myself, at some point I was feeling so ungrateful for the much that I had because I was focusing so much on the little things that I don't have. The feeling of being defeated was so inevitable at that point.

It took me time before I realized that I was just the best of me and all I have to compete with was who I was yesterday, who I am today and who I wanted to be tomorrow. After I realized this, I noticed things became better for me and I started feeling less defeated (not always). I had some days when I still looked at what others have that I don't but most times I still end up snapping out of it and just feel happy for those people instead.

Now I've come to realize how important it is to always focus on myself and keep growing every step of the way. I'm not yet where I wish to be but then I feel so fulfilled with every passing day because I can see a better me almost every single day and that has helped me feel less defeated. Now I just focus more on improving more on things that I'm not doing so well at and more on the things I'm already good at.

We all feel defeated at different points in our lives and if we are not careful, we might get drowned in the ocean of overwhelmness. Always learning to see the best in who we are and giving ourselves to learning is one sure way to overcome this feeling and I'm confident to say that because it always works for me every time I try it. You are only defeated when you think so and also give in to that thought.

If I had given my mind continually to the fact that I'm always average in everything I was doing, then I won't be where I am today and I wouldn't have gone so far in this circus we call life. Always rejoicing with those that celebrate genuinely is one other sure way to keep feeling like a Conquerer so don't hesitate or stop yourself from being happy for those who are doing well even better than you.