Forever, Maybe!

"What are you doing in my room, get out, now", Jake said.

"Well I just came to visit your roommate, I am leaving anyway."

Jake was the most annoying fool I ever met like what was wrong with him, how was someone so proud? Well that's his business, I thought to myself because there was nothing in the world that was ever going to make me talk to that idiot ever again……… well….. just like it happens in telenovelas, I spoke too soon (I gave a look of disgust).

_{Image by Kevin Lehtla from unsplash}

It was a bright Sunday afternoon. I normally spent Sunday afternoons in my friend's room. We watched movies, listened to music, ate and generally had fun, so long as his annoying roommate, Jake, wasn't around. We chose Sundays as our hangout day because Jake wasn't always around on Sundays but that day was different, he came back from church early.

Truth be told, when I saw him I felt like strangling him and throwing him out of his own room but…… no I couldn't , I had no right (I was raging inside). Well to avoid any embarrassment, I stood up to take my leave but he stopped me and told me I didn't have to leave. I was surprised because this couldn't be the same boy that chased me out of his room.

He was being extra nice that day, he apologized for his bad behavior, the shock of the day was when he called me his best friend... I was still in shock and he collected my number. I was simply put, dazzled.

Well he was just trying to obviously act like a saint. His roommate, David must have definitely told him that what he did was absolutely not necessary. That wasn't my business. I didn't give a damn about him.

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Well, you might be wondering why I left my room to hangout in another person's room... My roommate and I were not enemies but we definitely weren't friends.

So, me being me, I love celebrations, even the littlest things. So my roommate bought a new phone and what was there not to celebrate, buying a phone is really expensive, isn't it?

Well I knew the kind of roomie I had and I asked her before I did any of my planning and she was cool with it. I put my catering services to good use (definitely me feeling like an award winning chef). I cooked like there was no tomorrow. I made lots of dishes: fried rice, Jollof rice, roasted chicken and a bottle of wine…….. I was done and guess what she said: "well, Jane I don't think I am interested in eating, I just want you to get done with whatever you are doing in the kitchen so that I can prepare a meal for myself."

Wait, did that just happen? or is it one of my spontaneous imaginations? I couldn't express my anger, I only let out a deep sigh, hmmmmmmmm….

I left the room and went to the balcony and called David immediately. I told him everything that happened that evening. He told me not to worry that he was coming over. I couldn't possibly eat in my room. I was on fire so we went to his room. He invited a friend of his, Ken, to join us for dinner.

All was fine and well until Jake stepped in, could my day get any worse. So he walked into the room and narrated how he was robbed of all the cash he had, which was about 7000 naira. He was hungry and didn't have anything to eat. well if you have noticed, I only think of my revenge, I don't ever do them (which is so sad). Me being me…. I offered him my own share of the food. They were done eating and having fun and David decided to go out with Ken, leaving me and that arrogant fowl alone (I just wished the ground would open up and swallow me).

I said nothing to him and with all the pride he had to let go of, he apologized. We talked and it was funny, how we had a lot of things in common, what a night. I went up to my room and got a text from him saying " good night my love (with a red heart emoji)". Where was this leading to……..shhhhhh. I decided to keep my fingers crossed on this.

Jake and I became really close like what the hell, he was meant to be my archenemy. We saw each other every day after lectures and talked about our day. He got me gifts occasionally, we read together, ate together, all that was left was for both of us to move in together (couple dreams).

Jake had dreamy eyes, a tall, dark, fine young man, his lips were full and pink, his chest really broad with his six pack abs and to top it he had a full long hair that I loved to braid… no this couldn't be happening. I shook it off my mind and told myself we are just friends.

We became closer with every passing day. My heart raced anytime he placed his hands on mine. oh! I had butterflies in my belly the day he tried to kiss me, I pulled away but he pulled me back and as much as I want to deny, I wanted it too. He told me he liked me a lot but wanted us to take things slow. Mini me ran a marathon race in my mind……I was in love.

And then I told him, "I don't know whether to accept the love I have for you. Only time will tell what this really means for us but I hope that it's true and that it will last forever, maybe".

_{Image by Filipe Almeida from Unsplash}

These were the best moments of my life, I was floating on cloud nine. We walked to school holding hands. We saw when the day was over, and went on dates. He was the best thing in my life at that moment. He bought food for me and fed me (he was a terrible cook). I was in his words: "my princess". I knew that these moments would never end, they were too beautiful to end.

It was a cold night, I wasn't stargazing or waiting for inspiration to write a poem. I just lay lazily on my bed and thoughts of him flooded my mind. Suddenly I heard a knock on my door, "it was my boyfriend wasn't it?"

"Does he read minds too," I thought to myself. I opened the door and he was with another girl "there could be a reason" I thought but this was midnight. My thoughts were frozen when he said he came to collect water since his girlfriend was sleeping over. I was in deep shock. I handed him a few sachets of water and shut my door. What was going on? I cried myself to sleep.

The next day he came to my room and told me that they were only dating temporarily and that they would soon break up. He said that he didn't want to lose me so he asked me out even though he was dating her. I was clearly in love because how dumb was that? I just believed without doubt and things were back to how they used to be. We spent a few more days together and as tertiary institutions embarked on an industrial strike we went home for the strike break. I had my doubts obviously, but he assured me that his love for me was not changing, not ever. We were the best couple not even distance was able to separate us. We talked everyday and each day seemed like a fairy tale..yes….we were still taking it slow.

On a Saturday morning in the second month of the break, I received a call from a strange number. I picked the call and a lady asked me with so much confidence, "I know you are Jane, don't gaslight and what are you doing with Jake? Leave him alone and stop clinging on someone who clearly doesn't want you." I couldn't say anything, I was temporarily dumb as she reigned down insults on me. I have never been insulted in my entire life the way I was that day. What just happened? I couldn't explain, I didn't want to run mad, I called Jake immediately and all he could say was "Jane I can explain, I love you and I was going to tell you when I sorted everything out."

I died instantly, this couldn't be the man I loved, it couldn't be the man who professed his undying love for me everyday unceasingly. How could it be? I was number three of the ones I knew about, there were more definitely. That was the worst day of my entire life. I couldn't believe what was happening. I was played, my heart was toyed with and to think that I felt that we were forever. He told me we were forever. My nights grew darker and my heart grew colder. I moved on, looking back every now and then. It was one of the hardest things I had done in my life. I fell in love with the wrong man.

Well... I'm fine now

_{Image by MuiZur from Unsplash}

Nights still come when I feel the frost of my heart and I drown myself in my tears. My heart is in a desolate land…. but still I'll go on.