Meeting your in-laws: what my culture demands

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Meeting your in-laws for the first time can make you very nervous, the level of anxiety is always on a high side. One must be prepared, your first impression matters a lot. In my culture there are certain things you are expected to do or how you will appear.

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  • You must dress well; appearance is very important, but make sure do not over dress, wearing a suit and tie in an African setting is not appropriate, they will definitely think that you are over dressed and you cannot be too casual in your dressing. For the guys have an haircut, trim your beards and use a perfume. For the ladies make sure your hair and nails are done and try not to over dress. A simple and beautiful gown would be okay. In my culture you are expected to wear an Ankara dress male or female, it's a sign of respect to the culture of our people.

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-You must also get to know the method of greeting of your in-laws like for the Yorubas in Nigeria the women kneel while greeting an elderly person while the men will prostrate while greeting, the Igbo the men shake hands and bend a little forward while greeting an elderly person, the women bend their knees. You must get to study the culture of your in-laws so that you won't do anything that will look like and insult to them.

  • Go with a gift; when going to meet your in-laws make sure you go with a gift, it is very important. The gift must not be too expensive or big. In my culture i.e the Ibibio's in Nigeria , a bottle of wine is okay, it must not be an expensive wine, we see it as a sign of respect . You can buy cookies, fruits and other things, but you should not over things so that you don't send the wrong message across.

Get involved in what is going on in the house, for the men if they are watching a sport and it's not your favorite sports don't complain try to pick and interest in learning about the sports and I'm sure the will be happy to tell you more about the sports. If you meet them doing their chores assist , though most would not allow you to do the chores, asking to assist shows a sign of respect, humility and love. For the women you can help in setting the table for lunch or dinner depending you can also offer to cook.

When meeting your in-laws for the first, try and be civil and organized, put your phone on silent, it would be rude for your phone to ring in the middle of dinner or while having a discussion with your father-in-law. Do not over do things, just keep it simple, smile and try as much as possible to answer questions no matter how angry you are. Just be yourself



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