Punday Monday 234
Welcome to Punday Monday!
tl;dr
Make a pun about the topic of the week,
The topic is New Years.
Here's how to make a pun, if you don't know: https://peakd.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties
New To Punday?
Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.
How To Make a Pun
This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun
Rules for the PUN-test:
- If you hope to win a prize [1 100% upvote per punster (~$2), 1 HSBI for a win], your pun must be your original work
- Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.
Last Week's Punday Monday:
Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!
Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winner of This Week's PUNday Monday Is...
OH, WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE FOR YOU?
How’s THIS:
Best Pun...
Best Pun of the Entire Week...
Best Overall Pun (click it)...
DRUMROLL PLEASE…..
@elementm an excellent setup for Claustrophobic!
This Week's Pun Topic Is:
New Years
As in,
Why did my dad put up so many fences on December 31st? He was trying to ring in the New Year.
I'm So Good at Puns
If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!
Related Content:
- @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
last year i told the wife that i'd take her to times square for new years, but i dropped the ball.
Nice one!
I'm going to upgrade my TV to 4k on Jan 1st.
That's my new years resolution.
!lol
lolztoken.com
You could say he had a change of heart.
@doctorcrypto, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @quinnertronics
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (1/1)
Hahah nice!
gold
Last New Years I was asked, "how was your 2020?".
I told my friend that I can remember it like it was yesterday.
I won 😃? Pun-tastic, thanks! Here’s what I’ve got for this week:
I’m having a hard time getting excited about the New Year. I've got a feeling it's going to be like 2020 too.
The farmers in California are certainly hoping for a better year next year, with more rain and less intentionally dumping fresh water in the ocean (gotta love government). The corn farmers are of the mindset of New yEar, New M(aiz)e!
!LOL
lolztoken.com
But I've got too much on my plate right now.
@cmplxty, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @theabsolute
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (1/1)
i grew up in a small town in ohio- the kind of song that john cougar mellencamp would write a song about. the town had withered away since the war had ended long ago. most of the factories had closed and the people packed up and moved to the city. i still remember the day the movie theater closed. after that, we had to drive almost a half hour to Buckville to see a movie -if my father had the time.
most of his time was spent at work, at the factory. my dads job wasnt glamorous, but it kept food on the table and clothes on our backs. they made rubber belts for vacuum cleaners at the Lang factory- one of the last employers in our town. there wasnt much to do as a kid, so after school i would go and wait for pa to get out of work, bouncing my red ball outside while i waited out front.
i resented my father a lot for keeping us in that dying town -i used to look up with anger at that Lang industries sign, paint peeling off, merely a faded memory of better times.
one Christmas, my father left work with a giant turkey- a gift from mr. Lang. i know i was just a young lad, but i still swear that was the biggest bird i had ever seen.
i didn't sleep much for days, i just felt that something was wrong. i wrestled with these feelings for about a week when it finally dawned on me that i didn't have to make myself miserable -i could do something about it!
that new years eve, i found an old can of red paint in the garage and headed to the Lang factory. it was just a gesture, not even a gift to mr. Lang- just a boost to morale for the employees and hope that our town could bounce back.
I'll never forget that new years eve in Ohio, i'll never forget that old Lang sign.
That setup though!
Love the payoff. :)
The elf decided to become a normal person in 2022 by getting plastic surgery. He is happy with his New ears resolution
!LOLZ
lolztoken.com
Hey, that's false advertising!
@diebitch, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @theabsolute
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (2/2)
As a competitive eater, my new years resolution is fitness.
Fitness whole plate of diablo hot wings in my mouth in under two minutes.
My yoga studio is really cracking down for the new year.
In order to join you have to make a perfect circle with your body.
I've never seen so many people trying to get into shape. :)
It's always great to see couples get married on New Year's Eve. It's a great way to ring in the new year
It's the same old thing. And yet it always changes. It makes some happy. But others get downright snappy.
It's the new year! May we be in it, whatever it may bring.
Because as we all know, the alternative is not fun. We can't travel back into the past. So it's into the future that we will run!