Punday Monday 299!

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Welcome to Punday Monday!

tl;dr

Make a pun about the topic of the week,
This week’s topic is Science!
Here's how to make a pun, if you don't know: https://peakd.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties

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New To Punday?

Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.

How To Make a Pun

This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun

Rules for the PUN-test:

  • If you hope to win a prize [1 100% upvote per punster, 2 HSBI for a win), your pun must be your original work
  • Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.

Last Week's Punday Monday:

Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!

Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winner of This Week's PUNday Monday Is...

OH, WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE FOR YOU?

How’s THIS:

DRUMROLL PLEASE…..

@freecompliments again!

This Week's Pun Topic Is:

Science
As in
Why are planets always working on their tight five? Because you can’t make a career as a comedian just with doing stuff that's improvisational or bits.

I'm So Good at Puns

If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!

Related Content:

  • @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
  • https://bit.ly/improvonpopin to join me on a gaming app where I host funny trivia on Sunday nights, and Spades, Hearts, and Liar’s dice on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday


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15 comments
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Well, I am new and I will surely participate in the contest. Thanks for sharing.

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I heard that Coca Cola employs many scientists to work in their lab, perfecting the existing products and coming up with new ones. I wonder what it's like to be a fizzicist in a big company like that???
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That .gif just adds to the pun! Well-done with this explosive choice. 😂

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Good morning fellow scientists, I'm trying to figure out something about electrolytes, and am wondering: have you heard the one where nitrous oxide tries to get oxygen and potassium together?

NO? OK 😔

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This one's a bit old, so I'll come up with a new one this week as well! This contest has inspired me to come up with new material again.

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Alanis Morissette used to substitute as a chemistry teacher. Kids would always say that NaCl was covalent. She said, "isn't it ionic? Don't you think?"

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I heard that Alanis once perfected a scientific recipe for "the ultimate beer,"
in her laboratory... she called it "the jagged little pilsner"

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Apparently this week's theme has now turned Head Over Feet. Thank U for letting me know! You Oughta Know that I'll now be Joining You.

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Alanis has since moved her scientific skills to working in the field of electric cars and energy storage-she was involved in the design of the new Tesla truck, it even made her new album's release date get pushed back. If this is news to you, well ..you auto know!

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Mr. Dryschpell goes to his primary care doctor asking about how he can have more success with the ladies.

"A pharmaceutical company just introduced me to a new formulation that makes you ejaculate with the intensity of a fire-breathing dragon. Since it's pretty new, I'll give you a 1 week prescription and you can try it out and let me know how it goes," says the doctor.

Mr. Dryschpell comes back one week later, disappointed.

He tells the doctor, "Doc, this didn't help with the ladies at all. Every time I tell them that it's like fire whenever I cum, they tell me, 'No thank you. I don't need to catch Chlamydia again!'"

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(Edited)

"Where the heck is the pun in this joke?" you might ask. Frankly, my dear reader, it's gone-rrhea.

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(Edited)

I hope you, @improv, didn't overlook part 2 of this joke: the actual pun-chline!

Maybe I should've written it in a single comment, but the flow seemed better this way. The process of writing jokes truly is an art and... a science. 🤓

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Covid-19 had a tremendous impact on society and culture. Research scientists and statisticians, in retrospective studies of cultural trends that have developed over the past few years, have discovered the emergence and increased incidence of memes and jokes about Covid-19 going viral. They coined this phenomenon the "Covid-19 pundemic."

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Research has shown that educators tend to marry someone from another industry, with the exception of Chemist. They have the most chemistry among each other

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