My best friend revealed the truth about an unknown incident. Here’s an inside look.
One thing about having friends of more than 10 years might not help my blog: We rarely take pictures.
Even though we meet almost every week, even at a new place or restaurant, we don’t have photos as proof of our visit.
(the very rare times)
Maybe the point is we don’t feel it necessary to hit the camera button because our eyes are enough to capture beautiful moments.
For instance, we met last Saturday at an Italian-inspired café, whose name I forgot – and do I have photos to check? None! It was the weekend after I had a major emotional breakdown and kumustahan with Hive PH.
Thankfully, Neil and Marj suggested we go to Outlets, stroll around the shops, and drink coffee.
Meeting my friends for the first time
For people with toxic and dysfunctional families, growing up, your primary sense of safety is lost. Maggie Holland (2020) supported that dysfunctional families “impact healthy communication, emotional safety, and sometimes physical safety.”
She explained that it is caused by the parents, who are often toxic and are responsible for the power dynamic and authority within the family.
Sadly, I belonged in one with an emotionally manipulative mother and an emotionally absent father. While I tried changing who I was for many years, being who they wanted me to be, and staying silent when I was hurt, it caused me many mental health problems.
That’s why I found school as a great escape from my troubled home. It helped me express myself in ways I could not when I was with my parents. Little did I know, my natural curiosity for people and “playful approach” would lead me to the two most favorite persons on the planet.
For our meet-cute moment, let’s make it look like a scene from a movie: Lights! Camera! Action!
SCENE 1 – INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY
Marj – 2nd grader, 9 years old
Ish (Me) – 2nd grader, 8 years old
Ish sees Marj standing alone during dismissal. She taps her shoulder.
Ish: Hi! Gusto mo ba maglaro? (Hi! Do you want to play?)
Marj nods. The two little girls plays a game.
It was literally just like that. We found out that we were classmates the next year and we started hang out during recess until we’re here – almost 16 years later?
Meanwhile, I met Neil on grade 4 and here’s our scene: Lights! Camera! Action!
SCENE 2 – INT. CLASSROOM
Neil – 11 years old
Ish – 10 years old
Ish notices a boy sitting next to her in the classroom. He is quiet.
Ish: Do you want to see me break my ribs?
Neil: What? (laughs)
That’s right, that is exactly how it happened. I don’t remember what was in my head, but my little stunt resulted in 14 years of wonderful friendship.
Importance of support systems
Soon, we became a trio of weirdos who had their own world. When life becomes unbearable, they’re always there to help me.
Dr. Julia Hood (2020) shared what makes support systems beneficial to our mental health:
- They help us reconnect to the world and be there for a heart to heart conversations.
- They check in on us without any prompts
- They encourage us to pursue healthier behaviors
- They provide healthy distractions
Undoubtedly, Marj and Neil mean a lot to me, but this wasn’t the case with my parents. It always seemed like they needed to approve of my friends first before they wholeheartedly accepted them, especially my mother.
It’s no surprise that even my oldest best friend, Marj, felt estranged from them. However, I didn’t realize the lengths my parents spent to distance themselves from her.
Not until we were at the Italian-themed café last Saturday, sipping our coffees and nibbling the cheese platter.
Digging up the past
The topic of our high school retreat suddenly came up. It turned out that Neil received retreat letters from my parents – maybe because he was my classmate at that time or they had something to say.
Well, my parents did, but Neil couldn’t recall the exact words.
Shockingly, Marj didn’t receive any. Just to give you a bit of context: Retreat letters are equivalent to receiving flowers on Valentine’s Day. They are usually given during the school retreat, where graduating high school students can reflect, rest, and be solemn.
Our mouths were wide open as we realized that my number one, first, numero uno, original, solid, loving, caring best friend was treated as if she was nothing. It broke my heart.
There was a deafening beat.
The three of us sighed in frustration, but I was really feeling mad inside. It was just unfair. I literally called Marj “my guardian angel” in grade school because she was a blessing in my life.
So now, the more I want to make Marj feel loved.
I may not have a normal family, but Marj and Neil are mine. I will treasure them with all my heart.
Thank you for reading 💜
How did you meet our best friends? Share your meet-cutes down below!
ᴬˡˡ ᵖʰᵒᵗᵒˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵐⁱⁿᵉ ᵘⁿˡᵉˢˢ ˢᵗᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳʷⁱˢᵉ
Wow! You look so beautiful with your long hair on the pic ish. And I could still hear your very relaxing voice. I see that you are enjoying with your best friends. Just like you, I also have rare snaps with her because when we are together we simply enjoy the moment unless we would stop for a while and take a photo opp. Hehhe. Best regards and love you always. !PIZZA
Hahahah it's been a while since I saw my long hair nga po! Thanks po for commenting
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While reading this, the more I long for real friends. One of my closest friends went to the US while I was in Hong Kong, and we have no idea when she will return to the Philippines. We didn't even get a chance to see each other even though she had a layover here for a few hours because I was working that day. And I don't know either when we will be reunited 😥.
So treasure every second you spend with your true friends. The present is what counts, not the past. So make sure they won't feel unloved.
Awwww hugs po! I can't imagine not seeing my friends for so long, but I know that friendships never truly end. Hope that you see your friend soon!
Such wise words! Thank you!
Good thing there are social media nowadays making people connected from any part of the world
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Looking very beautiful and you're so photogenic
I can't remember how the friendship started but I remember the embaraasing moments with them and the aways 😆
My mom is also so intimidating. When my friends come over they hate it when my mom is there because they feel like the are walking on eggshells. 😄
You are so blessed to have them in you life. They are people who are family outside the bloodline.
In this short life we should enjoy the moment and have a great time with our friends. The past is in the past, what matters is the present. Enjoy the moment and always be happy!
By the way, I shared your post on Thread for more people to see, LeoThread is a great way to reach more people, to try out Threads, you can reply from here. In the meantime, you can check out the Family & Friends community's post about Threads.
Thanks for your positive vibes 😊 Will check it out!
You definitely should check out Threads! It's fun, engaging and very simple to use.
Some Hivers use it to share random thoughts or pictures, others to promote their posts with a description on the Thread, and others to interact and increase their network, but overall it becomes addictive!
I hope you join us on Threads @ishwoundedhealer, it would be great having a published author try out the interface :D
You're all lucky to have each other! I wish I built more on my friendships back then, too.
I met my college bestie in a very weird situation! She used to be acquainted with my bullies but things changed when we got to know each other more. It was a rollercoaster ride from then on!
Ooooohhh may I know more about your friendship story? Hahaha parang nacurios meee
HAHAHHAA ano ba to!? hahahhaha
I think we're alike in some ways ish but your mom is just so extreme. Thankful my mom isn't like that. It's hard to lean on to your family in times of hardships, but luckily you have your trusted friends with you.
We're also like that with my friends. We don't often take photos anymore. We also don't know why. We just tend to forget about it, or we're just so busy talking we don't have time to take one 😂
Di ko rin po alam ang pinagagagawa ko sa buhay noon 🤣😅 HAHAHA
I do feel very lucky! Let's keep cherishing our friends 💜
You're a good true friend to Marj @ishwoundedhealer. You care so much for your friend. Having our friends who are with us always feels like it's a great comfort and a shoulder to lean on in times of down moments.
We appreciate you taking the time, to either use #ThoughtfulDailyPost, or otherwise help this Community grow. So...
This trio looks like a powerful trio. Y'all all look good together.
Funny fact is that just like your mom, my mom hasn't fully accepted my best friend and Its been 13 years already. It may take the grace of God for my mom to finally accept her. I don't know why it's like that tho.
Your lines were really smooth and look what the lines got you, two best friends/ treasures. Amazing ✨
aww, those approaches are so cute! I value and treasure a friendship so much just like you!
I only remember starting a group with friends that get along in high school and then that started our friendship with my bff's today
but I lost two best friends, which was one of the saddest parts of my life.. because they didn't feel the same value as how I see our friendship but all is well... I lost some I gained some hehehe
How I meet my friends??
It's a long story 😫✅
Need to summarize the details