Divorce - a heartbreaking experience that shatters families and leaves emotional scars

One of the biggest cases in our contemporary world today is the increasing number of divorces, a situation dreaded by many, in fact in an average number of ten (10) cases in courts today; 6 out of 10 are divorced cases. Homes are broken, families are shattered and the bright and beautiful future of the innocent ones ( children) becomes unpredictable because two adults who are supposed to make things work out in their marriage are either not ready to be committed or probably choose their egos over family.

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Every couple's dream seems to be to build a happy home or family, raise responsible children in society, and enjoy a long-lasting relationship with each other. But in the long run, every single dream comes crashing down, the supposed happy and fulfilling home becomes a war zone or battlefield for pain, trauma, and agony. The sad reality of this is that most of the time the womenfolk are the most vulnerable, traumatized, and unfortunate victims, resulting in emotional damage, mental imbalance, and depression which are few out of many effects of this untold pain called divorce.

Most of the negative vices in society today are orchestrated and carried out by children who come from broken homes and shattered marriages. These children grow up with the mindset that true love is impossible and unrealistic; violence, hatred, bitterness, tears, pain, intolerance, and agony are the reality they know and are exposed to.

One of the known causes of the numerous cases of divorce in our world today especially in Africa is, Domestic violence and this is not specific to only one gender, both males and females could be vulnerable victims. The effects of these domestic violence may be physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual. As a result, the victim is forced to do away with the marriage. It is a wrong notion or mindset that a man shows his manliness or superiority when he physically abuses or assaults his wife by beating her, it in fact shows cowardice when a man does so. A responsible gentleman would be able to handle issues or conflicts in his home without having to resort to physical abuse.

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Another twin reason for divorce cases especially in Nigeria is the result of infidelity, it is surprising that the three different forms of legal marriage contract practiced in Nigeria, that is the Christian marriage conducted in the church, in the presence of a priest or pastor, the Islamic marriage rites carried out in the mosque in the presence of an Imam and the customary marriage in the court speaks explicitly against infidelity. When either of the couple begins to get involved in an extramarital relationship or affair; this breaks the bridge of trust, love, and loyalty. The victim goes through emotional and psychological stress as a result of these leading to opting out of the marriage.

Certain factors need to be put in place for every marriage to become successful as it should be;

First,

Communication

An act of talking and listening is a very powerful tool that when used effectively can build a successful home and marriage and when inappropriately used can mar or break any home. Couples are expected to share their thoughts, insecurities, likes, dislikes etc, consistently as this would give the partner the opportunity to relate and understand each other better. Parents who are always open to conversations create an avenue or platform for their children also, to express their opinions and thoughts about life and these can help build a better home.

Secondly,

Commitment

Marriage is a lifelong contract, an institution that requires commitment, both parties must be able to agree to make their marriage work after considering their indifferences, opinions, ideologies, and views. It's disheartening to know that some marriages these days are contracted for selfish interest and gain. Marriage is seen as bondage and a thing that should be easily discarded after use when not favorable. People choose to no longer make commitments and sacrifices. For any marriage to be successful then both parties must choose to make conscious and intentional efforts towards that.

In addition:

Love and mutual respect from both partners, true love seeks the good of others, true love does not dishonor others, it protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Couples should learn to truly love, respect and appreciate each other. The number of divorced cases can be substantially reduced if couples are willing and determined to make their marriages work out successfully against all odds.

Ensure you are mature enough emotionally, psychologically, and otherwise in order to handle the challenges that come with marriage, never be in a haste to get into it, if you aren't ready to. Only then would the world be a better and safer place and the beauty of marriage would duly be appreciated even by generations to come.

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