Apocalyptic Homesteading (Day 1076)
Hello Everyone!
A skewed sleep cycle, Feeling run down, Formulating backup plans & Maybe finding a partial solution for the mites!
Okay, I best start writing something or I will just keep putting it off and since the sun has already set... it is nigh on time that I begin to do so. Even though I had all day to dive in here... I avoided doing so in favor of sticking to my routines and in an effort to not ramble (or rant and rave) too much.
Last night I had a hard time falling asleep (again) and wound up not only doing a bunch of 'tossing and turning' but also sleeping in rather late. I probably should have just kept sleeping but that would have undoubtedly skewed my sleep cycle in such a way that it would take me several days to either correct it... or struggle against it getting skewed even further.
I am unsure why I have been feeling so 'run down' the last few days but it could be my body adjusting to having less parasites after I did that treatment with the juglone. Or I could have erred in cutting the treatment short and need to restart it again... and do it for a full two weeks so that I get the 'full effects' of the stuff.
Another thing that might be contributing to feeling so 'low on energy' is that I am rather mentally exhausted by all the uncertainty in my life. That combined with my aging dog's health issues might be 'playing a number' on me in such a way that my old pal depression is creeping in from around the edges... and I just do not have the kind of mental acuity required to cope with it head on.
Although there is not much I can actually do for my old dog than what I have been doing... I have been tackling the aforementioned 'uncertainty' by trying to increase my inbound revenue and hunting for options on land. As much as I love the place that I am at and all... I also like the idea of having a backup plan and preferably one that is actually feasible.
I have yet to have much luck on formulating said 'backup plan' but the option of moving to some super isolated area with incredibly low property values gets more appealing all the time. Of course making such a scenario actually work would present its own challenges... but honestly I just want to 'get on with my life' and not be in this constant state of limbo that I have been in for well over a year now.
All that said, I also know that I am still not in the kind of mental or physical shape that I need to be in to 'start over from scratch' again... and trying to do so would probably be disastrous... but hey things 'ending in disaster' seems to be my forte thus far in life. So the real question to ask is what would really be different there? Without getting lost down that particular rabbit warren I guess that the answer could be summed up as: I just do not have it in me.
Obviously, I am feeling rather frustrated about the direction (or lack of direction) that my life currently has... and I also have serious reservations about the deal for purchasing this place actually working out. Then there is my sentiment that I have been jerked around a good bit and am just fed up with it on more levels than I even knew that I had to start with... which is a massive 'can of worms' that I will not be opening in this entry.
In short there are just too many 'little things' that all add up to the same thing: Not enough money to do jack shit about my problems besides continuing to cope with them. For those that know me, they know that I am a big fan of 'coping' but when it comes right down to it... coping is more a survival (or self preservation) mechanism than an actual solution to the underlying problem or problems... but hey like the old saying goes... beggars cannot be choosers!
On a different note. After looking around at mattress and pillow covers I may have found a hacky solution for some of my mite problems. The covers that I have been looking at are mainly made from non-breathable vinyl (or synthetic) materials and seem to be made to seal bed bugs, fleas and mites inside where they cannot escape. In other words the crappy mattress that was gifted to me when I got here (and was loaded with pestilence eggs) would be sealed away inside the cover... which should disrupt the life cycle enough for me to deal with it effectively.
I know that the solution is not a 'complete' one but I am hoping that since the mattress and pillows seem to be the largest 'pieces of the puzzle' (in the pests environment) that dealing with them will help make a real solution possible. Of course I would still have to somehow wash all my other linen (or dispose of it) and get rid of all the dust... and paint over everything for good measure... but it would... at the very least... be a big step in the right direction.
Well, I think that I am going to call this entry 'good enough' and get on with the rest of my evening. I hope that everyone is doing well and has a nice time.
https://peakd.com/c/hive-114308/created
I have no idea that you are actually going through alot yourself until I read this. I have often thought that I am the only person in the world with too much problems, maybe everybody does have a problems and we are all learning to handle our problems.
What I can say is that you should take it easy on yourself and do not get overwhelmed especially when you have put in your best and everything doesn't seem to go your way.
Keeping a good mental state will ensure that you have quality sleep and sometimes we need to break out from some routine if it will guarantee our freedom.
Sticking to one routine and having my mind fixed On it makes me really dull , I don't want a repeated circle of things but if that makes you feel good then you should stick to it .
Ageing is common with everything in life and it's normal for these old ones to get sick and all that, by that I mean your dog.
Do you mind getting a tiny little dog to start growing and keeping you company while this one ages along .
That way you won't feel the absence of one when the other dies .
I wish the dog good health and sound recovery though.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment.
We all definitely face our own challenges and problems. Some folks do it better than others but the key thing is that we do face them.
Yeah, I love life being dull and repetitive.
Have no worries because I have three other dogs that keep me company as well... and we will get through the times ahead together no matter what.
Cheers and again thank you for the thoughtful response.