Apocalyptic Homesteading (Day 1134)
Hello Everyone!
Nothing to report except a report, Some morale trickery, The humbug is strong today & A brief hike!
Alright, I got the espresso brewed early and sat down to write early... but have yet to actually spell anything out. A big part of that is because I spent the vast majority of my day working on a second Hive GPT report... and yeah no matter how I tried... I could not keep it as 'short and sweet' as I initially wanted to... nor fit everything in it that I wanted to.
Having gotten up super early today, I was hoping to work on some of my coding projects... but the first time that I hit my 'usage limit' (with GPT-4) I switched gears, blew off the coding altogether... and decided to work on the aforementioned article. I had intended to get back to the project later... but after nearly six hours of working on that one post... I was pretty much over it... and it was almost time to start working on my daily entry to boot.
I dunno what I expected from all that effort aside from some desperately needed dopamine... and being able to tell myself that I finally made the report... but overall I just felt kind of 'hollow and underwhelmed' afterwards. Of course realizing all of that I also felt kind of stupid for even trying to adjust my internal landscape via such means but meh.
Anyways, that has been my day in a nutshell and a big part of me just wants to scream 'bah humbug' and go to sleep for the next few days. In years past I probably would have done just that... but this year I have made a concerted effort to not feel that way... and to enjoy whatever that I can of the holiday.
As I was saying in a recent entry, my morale has been a total train-wreck the last few years (and especially the last year) and I know that if it slips too far... it can easily begin undermining the work that I have done to improve my overall attitude and mental well-being. It is always a tricky affair at best to maintain good morale... and it being what it is at the moment... this holiday season has not been easy on it.
I did get away from the computer for a brief time very late in the day... and took the dogs with me for a hike up and down the stretch of road near the shelter site. Which to some degree got me in a better mood... but overall it was not enough physical activity to truly 'clear my mind' like my hikes usually do.
Well, I have fizzled out here and do not really have much else to say. I hope that everyone is doing well and has a nice time.
https://peakd.com/c/hive-114308/created
@jacobpeacock...
I get the bah humbug... life has a way of pissing in the cheerios sometimes. Every time this year, I think about waiting up to see if I could hear reindeer on the roof lol. Fast forward to the sleepless nights trying to wrap presents for my son...
Good memories... mixed with frustration because I'm reminded daily what I can't do anymore because of my Multiple Sclerosis. But man... we are still here! In case you needed to hear it... I feel fortunate to have met you. Your posts are a tribute to telling it like it us... sugar coating is best with cookies... you know. So here's hoping you have a decent holiday, brother.
Love and light ✨
Wes...
@tipu curate
Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 65/75) Liquid rewards.
@wesphilbin I guess that I did need to hear it!
Thanks so much Wes. Your kind words are deeply appreciated.
As much as I might say 'humbug' I still hope folks have a good holiday season and carry a little good cheer in my heart to help spread to those who do not.
It is always such a mixed bag of feelings for me this time of year but this year has been especially difficult. A lot of it boils down to that morale I was writing about... but also the thought that this might be the last holiday that my old dog will be with me keeps pushing me to the edge of tears at unexpected times.
Some things are just hard to accept that I cannot do anything about them... so I do the one thing that I can do... choose how I react to them... if I can!
Much Love and Respect. Thanks for spreading the light!
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