Apocalyptic Homesteading (Day 1164)
Hello Everyone!
A gray day, A dark mood, Wasting the almost fair weather, Faltering morale & The food conundrum!
Alright, the sun is just now setting over the horizon on this gray and overcast day... which yup means that I am right on time with with my writing routine. I am admittedly feeling quite moody... so I have no idea how much (or what) I will spell out here... but at least I am willing to give it my best effort.
Honestly, my 'best effort' does not seem like enough... and my meager earnings each month still do not mount to the proverbial 'hill of beans' but hey it is not like anyone 'twisted my arm' and said: You should be a writer! It was merely a childhood dream/goal of mine that I never let go of... and have pursued no matter the cost along the way... so go figure.
Anyways, I awoke rather early today and did my Hive engagement routine per usual... but there did not seem like many folks were posting... so I did not find much to either read or engage with. Which, was probably for the best considering how little that I actually wanted to be be doing the engagement routine today to start with.
I probably should have done something else with my time today once I realized that I was not really into pretty much anything online... but I wound up reading way too much 'news' which of course is never good for me. I also spent some time on a web2 platform... which is perhaps even more of a disturbing experience than the 'news' considering how much outright mindless drivel there is on there these days.
All in all I pretty much wasted my one day of almost good weather by remaining cooped up indoors... because I just could not muster the motivation to get outside and do stuff. Heck, I did not even bother with bringing the water system back online like I was planning to do... and will need to do it tomorrow during what will undoubtedly be quite the rainy day.
As much as I would like to blame my 'lack of motivation' on my morale (or enthusiasm) I have also been running at a caloric deficit for quite some time... which is always a tricky thing to navigate considering the kind of impact that doing so has on me. I have still yet to attempt to reapply for food assistance... but I am sure that I will eventually overcome my own internal resistance and do it.
Well, I cannot force myself to write anything else for this entry... and keep finding myself deleting entire paragraphs and starting over... which yeah is way outside the norm for me. I hope that everyone is doing alright and having better results at their endeavors in life than I am.
Ta ta for now.
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STOPHopefully things will turn around soon and tomorrow will be better than today! 🔫🏹
Thanks. Yeah, I hope so also. I fell asleep telling myself that! Gotta push on through and do my part to change things also. 🏹🤠🔫
Hmmm, I’m short on words
We really have a lot to deal with in this season and time, I only hope that things will get better.
I must commend you for staying strong and keeping high hope.
And another thing is that I actually envy how you are consistent with your schedules and strict with time, I keep wondering if I can be anything near consistency
Thanks @monica-ene There are always going to be ups and downs and I just have to do my best to navigate them in a beneficial way.
It took lots of practice and self-discipline to become so consistent. You can do it also!
I will like to sincerely give it a try