Apocalyptic Homesteading (Day 1184)
Hello Everyone!
Quite the storm, Too little rest for productivity, Eyeing some pickle barrels for packing & Not wanting to start from scratch again!
Alright, I am on time with my writing routine again... and hoping that this espresso kicks in soon because I sure need it. Maybe if it does I will be able to wake up a bit more... and shake off the general haziness that I am feeling.
It was really late last night before I could fall asleep... and then once I finally did... I got woken up a bare three hours later by my boy dog freaking out over the thunder. At first I had hoped to drift back off again... but the thunder just kept on rumbling... so I got up and zoned out on the computer for several hours before falling back into a fitful sleep again.
That big storm was much larger than I thought that it was going to be... and although I could have 'zoomed out' on the radar to 'see what was coming' I never did. In short it dumped rain nonstop (or close enough to it) for the previous twenty-four hours... and roughly every two to three hours there was a bunch of thunder and lightning.
Tonight is when the temperature is set to start dropping and the wind is going to begin picking up... but thankfully the rain has passed. Although there is still a small chance of rain the next few days... I am sure that it will be nothing like the previous few days where it was coming down to the point of keeping me cooped up indoors so much.
Anyways, today is a bit of a blur to me because although I did some Hive engagement (in the wee hours of the morning) I never really dove back into it fully afterwards... besides doing my usual reading and such. Doing that routine in the morning has become quite the habit at this point... but on days like today (where I was constantly sleeping and waking again) it was hard to be very concise with its timeframe... and for using it as a sort of 'mile marker' for my daily activities.
Honestly, I could have been much more productive than I was (by maybe packing some of the stuff I have in the attic or something) but I was so frigging out of it... due to all the sleeping and waking... that I could not muster the motivation for that or anything else. I also had an incredibly difficult time focusing on anything productive... because I kept dwelling on the enormity of the tasks ahead of me in regards to having to find a new place to live and packing everything down.
To say that I am feeling 'profoundly stressed' over the entire scenario would be an understatement... and the proverbial 'bad taste' that my experiences here have 'left in my mouth' is not helping at all. It would assuredly all be easier to cope with if I felt depressed (or even angry) but instead I just feel kind of hopeless and devoid of any faith that things will work out.
All that said, I have at least been pursuing whatever leads I can find (for a new place to live) and communicating with folks... so I am at the bare minimum avoiding becoming listless and filled with despair. The main thing that keeps bubbling up in my mind, is that I am just not in the kind of mental or physical shape that I need to be in to 'start over from scratch' again... and to be blunt I just do not want to be.
The very idea of winding up in a tent again after everything that I have worked towards being 'rug pulled' out from under me... is something that I find beyond disturbing to say the least. Not to get too lost on that particular topic... but I just know myself well enough to know (beyond a shadow of a doubt) that I do not have it in me at the moment... and no amount of bullshitting myself that I do have it in me is going to change that.
Knowing all of that, I have to make a concerted effort over the coming days, weeks and months to clear my mind of how this scenario worked out, improve my morale, bolster my caloric intake... and get a lot of exercise to boot! While I will surely get plenty of exercise dismantling everything here... and most likely apply to get food assistance again to solve the food problem... boosting my morale and 'clearing my mind' will be the most challenging aspects.
The logistics of figuring out how to pack everything down... and storing things... is going to be rough given how little 'adequate storage space' that I already have, how few containers I have to put stuff in... and of course the ongoing rodent problem that the site has. What I have been considering doing, is purchasing a bunch of used 'pickle barrels' (that have lids) and stuffing everything into them... along with some kind of desiccant compound (or cat litter) to keep everything dry inside.
Of course having a bunch of barrels that are overstuffed with my belongings... and lack any handles (to make carrying them easier) does not reek of an 'awesome' solution... it is about the only thing that I can see working given the scenario. They are also expensive at a whopping twenty-seven USD a pop and I have no idea how I will get them here (from the feed store that I found them available at) and am hoping that I can buy them in bulk... and perhaps get them delivered.
There are of course a ton of things that just will not fit in those kinds of barrels (due to the small opening) but I think that if I unpack some stuff that can fit (from the totes they are in) and repack them in the barrels... that I could then use the totes for the larger items. One way or another it (using the barrels) assuredly is not a 'one size fits all' solution but alas it is a solution.
Another option that I am considering is moving a bunch of my gear up near the gate, laying it all out on some tarps... and putting a 'free stuff' sign out near the road. I briefly considered doing a 'yard sale' but honestly that would create more problems than it is worth... because I would have to meet a bunch of locals, collect money... and then have to worry about guarding all the stuff each night of the sale... as well as folks knowing that I have cash somewhere onsite.
For folks that have lived in very rural and impoverished areas they should know exactly what I am concerned about there... and why just giving things away for free is a better route. As for anyone that cannot grasp what I mean... and the reasoning behind it 'bless your heart' for having lived such a life where you did not have to consider such 'security' issues.
Well, I think that I have contributed about all the words that I can to this entry and am going to call it good enough. I hope that everyone is doing well... and has the kind of peace of mind that they need to face whatever challenges that they may be facing. Ta ta for now.
They say when one door closes another opens. We need to find that door.
It's a daunting task ahead because it's not always easy when one's is dislodged but there's always the strength within, the one you never knew you possessed. You will be fine!
Sorry to hear that things havent gotten much brighter over there. I feel certain that something will work out and talking to folks is the best way some unexpected situation appears. As for the packing, I feel like pairing down as much as possible while still having the essentials is the best route when making a big life change. I wish you lots of luck & send a hug your way & for the dogs too.