Apocalyptic Homesteading (Day 1187)

Hello Everyone!

Another day on the downward spiral & Barely mustering the will to write!

Alright, I am on time with my writing routine tonight... even though I had told myself repeatedly that I was not going to do any writing today. It was not until the last minute that I decided to give it a shot... but honestly depending on how this entry goes I might stop for a while... and either take a break from it all... or stop doing it altogether.

The thing is that I really do not have anything worth writing about besides the challenges that I am currently facing... and while the writing itself along with the sharing of said writing helps me tremendously mentally... the things that I want to write do not really fit into the homesteading genre. I have also been curbing my inclination to completely unload everything that has been going on in regards to being displaced... in an effort to free myself of it all... but alas wisdom dictates that I remain silent on that front.

I am also growing increasingly depressed and withdrawn as the days pass... and I have not even attempted to pack anything down... or look for new places to move to for several days now. In other words I am acutely aware of the downward spiral that my mind is engaged in... and unwilling to drag everyone else down with me in the process... nor provide 'entertainment' via sharing the difficulties I am facing.

Perhaps over the coming days and weeks I will be able to shake the feelings and stress that are overwhelming me... but as of now I believe that is being entirely more optimistic than I really feel. There is only so much bullshitting of myself that I am willing to do in that regard before said bullshitting becomes outright lying... and well I am not interested in crossing that line.

Well, that is all for now. I might try again tomorrow and I might not. Be well or something.