The Underground Shelter. The 31 Sentences Contest: Round 18

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This is my entry for the @tristancarax's 31 Sentences contest, round 18.


Day 190; my brother and I were lucky. It has been more than six months since we were allowed to be part of this underground shelter away from the plague.

There's no contact with the outside. We've been told that until we're out of danger, doors won’t open. Thanks to a group of scientists who foresaw this situation, this shelter was built and I wonder if there's more?

Day 220, unfortunately, no one thought to bring cigarettes or even alcoholic beverages to this moralistic shelter and I am literally dying for a good smoke. This makes me think: Did we join some post-apocalyptic religious cult?

Day 300, what will happen if we’re the only ones left in earth. It's unfortunate that communications have been damaged or at least that's what we've been led to believe, certainly there must be more shelters like this; are we only 150 people left?

I find myself having to record my crazy thoughts and everything that happens around me, undoubtedly it's a good alternative to keep me distracted; fortunately, we have enough food. Luckily!

Our lives could be sustained for at least 10 years, or so our caretakers claim but I don't think we are sane enough to last this long. Happily, my brother is a child and they tend to adapt and even get distracted by literally anything.

Day 455, I am tired of seeing the same walls. The water tastes like rust. The food begins to feel so tasteless to me, like sand. It's suffocating this confinement, I wish I could see the sun, the beach, feel the fresh morning breeze on my face, I really wish I could even see a tree.

Day 500, one person has begun to spread the rumor that the virus no longer exists and we are confined to these walls. I begin to realize that he’s not the only one who thinks this; surely, we are victims of some fatalistic self-centered maniac religious cult’s chief.

Day 600, tomorrow will be the day we reveal ourselves against the leaders who control the shelter and, finally, freedom.

Day 603, the fight took a couple of hours, we usually are beings of habit and that was their biggest mistake. The plan was carried out perfectly and control was taken without any loss of life.

Perhaps the most difficult thing was to break the hard locks that prevented us from letting us go outside; regrettably, to our surprise, the leaders were not lying. All humanity has been totally wiped off the planet by the effect of the virus' mutations.

We were wrong. We couldn’t repent and turn back, plague wasn't over.

I hope anyone manages to read this diary and I hope they won’t make the same mistake we did since our fate was sealed.

The alien ripped out the last page of the notebook and wiped his ass. He threw the covers of the notebook away and reassembled his spaceship leaving without further ado.

The end.


If you want to participate in this contest go to:

https://peakd.com/creativecoin/@tristancarax/the-31-sentence-contest-round-18

Let's keep spreading love through the community

Thanks for passing by!



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11 comments
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I really like the diary entry approach and the periodic progression, gaps between entries growing and then suddenly contracting for the finale.

This

I find myself having to record my crazy thoughts and everything that happens around me, undoubtedly it's a good alternative to keep me distracted;

and then nothing for 155 days is so realistic, it really adds to that sense of clutching for hope and sanity. Making a decision one day that this might help with how their feeling, that they need to keep doing this, the positive and determined feeling of that entry. It provides a wonderfully stark contrast with the next one, 155 days later, the tone changed completely, the focus from hope for the future to despondency, zoning in on small details. The simplicity works so well, especially combined with the feeling of hoping for the impossible, at day 455 it feels as though as much as they wish to see the sun, feel the wind, there is still a sense of acceptance that it isn't possible, highlighted by the smallness of things desired/missed.

Entertaining ending, particularly liked the clever line about fate being "sealed" - it was, and could've stayed that way, until they unsealed it. Wouldn't know it was written with prescribed word counts for each sentence, really well put together.

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I really appreciate (and probably miss, if I'm not mistaken) your comments and I'm glad you loved it.

This kind of exercise is not only insane (hehehe), it's even frustrating for me. You want to write more, but you have to manage not to exceed the number of words and not to have the story robotized. It really exploits your ability to find ways to express yourself in different ways. Have you tried it?

A little twist (chan-chan-CHAN!): The spaces were created by the alien himself (herself?), while he/she entertained himself/herself reading (?) pages that he/she didn't use to wipe his/her big ass(es) (haha, it's an alien, isn't it?) until only the last one was left.

It is sad that the history of what is left of humanity serves only as a passing entertainment to go to the bathroom of a higher civilization ;P

Thank you very much, my lady, for your detail comment ^_^

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You are indeed as astute as ever ;)

It is insane! The temptation to let a story run off with itself, or to pre-decide what a really short sentence will be is surprisingly hard to resist. It definitely helps a story to stay on track and avoid tangents and subplots. I have tried something for most rounds, I think I only entered one quite early on, some of the prompts are far too beyond me but its still fun to give it a go. Dunno if i've improved for it though, still found myself getting towards the end of this one, about 7 sentences left, and just writing what I needed to get in into one paragraph with no punctuation and then coming back and fitting it into the structure - which feels a bit arbitrary and almost like cheating.

Hahaha I love your lack of assumption on our alien

his/her big ass(es)

Well that would explain why there were so many pages erm.. used... lol between each one we saw, it just makes so much sense lol - that sir, is skill.

It is sad that the history of what is left of humanity serves only as a passing entertainment to go to the bathroom of a higher civilization ;P

Hahaha nahhh thank you dude, I love the sense of fun in your writing. Well, at least humanity was good for something in the end ;)

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You have garnered support from the @bananafish community. We appreciate your fine work and hope that you will continue to produce awesome content for us to feast our minds on.

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Thank you very much! ^_^

I really appreciate it :D

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(Edited)

Haha. That was fun. You had me going with those journal entries. It felt like it was really happening.

The alien get toilet paper from earth and returns to where he came from. He must have an awesome immune system to be able to survive what these humans couldn't. Where do I get some alien blood?

I really like this and how you came to it:

I really wish I could even see a tree.

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Hi! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D

Btw, I'm having trouble with your other post... Please, explain it to me :)

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What do you mean you're having trouble?

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In this post:

https://peakd.com/creativecoin/@tristancarax/a-fictional-story-challenge#@free-reign/re-jadams2k18-q8h21t

I commented to you:

Let's see...

I was born in December so my first sentence should start with “I dock ed by” …. Who’s ed?

The day was 21st, so “a black person” (a little racist, although I'm not a white person)

It’s hot, so I don’t wear any shirt, then “therefore, our tutor weaved a basket.”

My first sentence should be: "I dock ed by a black person therefore, our tutor weaved a basket."

I don't think it's going to be literally written that way, is it? I don't necessarily have to use those phrases in that order, do I? o.O?

I need support (assistance), please ^_^

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