Afraid we are, the less free we are ...

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Many parents of the old school “taught” with a strap and flip-flop to be obeyed, and they were called instilling respect and values, but the reality is that one panicked just by looking at them. That was not respect, it was fear and with that fear, one ended up traumatized.

Even without blows the right words, emotional blackmail, verbal aggression and humiliation; and inventing things to get "the truth" implanted the fear that then moves to any other relationship.

In my experience...

The only person I'm afraid of is myself... Because when I get angry, all the roof tiles roll off my head... That's why I avoid conflicts with people in my environment, there is respect with my partner, and it's what has allowed us to overcome crises during the years we've been together, without hurting each other when we express what bothers or displeases us.

I am one of the people that when I lose respect for someone, I prefer to walk away, I walk away no matter who it is or how important it is in my life. Without respect, I don't want anyone by my side.

That's why it's so important to know our shadows, and it's fundamental in anger management.

Once I told Carlos a good friend not to confuse love with fear, at that time Carlos was in a relationship that hurt him a lot, and he wouldn't get out of there, those words I told him marked him and led him to put his feet on the ground, he had his soul full of fears.

Fortunately Carlos realized that you can not be happy where he was not the same, product of the fear he had, he separated from that exhausting relationship, and now he is back to being the same as always now wiser, with more self-love.

Everything starts from there. And it is from there that we can establish better relationships, without a doubt.

Let's start from this...

Love should not be feared. Therefore, whoever loves you, whoever values you, whoever appreciates you, respects you. Do you realize that?

When we talk about fear we face an emotional hell, because fear limits us, enslaves us and, in the end, destroys our life.

Fear puts us in a prison... and many times we don't even manage to see beyond.

Learning the lesson is essential so that we do not let ourselves be humiliated, no more from there.

When we talk about respect, we recognize and value the dignity, rights, opinions and limits of others. Out of respect we do not hurt, we do not harm, we do not threaten.

Respect is the opposite of the fear that enslaves us, because the more afraid we are, the less free we are. In many cases, fear is a policeman, a jailer and an executioner of ourselves.

Consequently, the more fears we have, the less happy we are.

Fear is a natural emotion, but when this fear is instilled upon us, we feel unhappiness, there it is not. This applies to everything, your personal, professional, work, family life. Do you have it clear? Have you had to deal with a relationship where fear prevailed? I read you in comments.

Janitze.





Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia


Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited with Canva


Translation with |DeepL





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10 comments
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Love and fear, very contrasting things but they somehow manage to be intertwined. In a toxic relationship at times it's not even fear of the other person but fear of what life would look like without them. So happy Carlos got out. You're a good friend for helping him

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That's right,codependency creates a vicious cycle in toxic relationships and the key to not staying in that fear and unhappiness about the toxic relationship is self-love, setting limits is the most sensible thing, as Carlos did.

Thanks for reading and commenting @b0s

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Fear is usually counterproductive. It's important to remove fear from ourselves as much as possible, it never yields good fruits.

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(Edited)

Fear has to be faced, it is a natural emotion, one learns from it so as not to repeat situations, one has to keep it in a drawer to move on.

Thank you for commenting @graat

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