Being an adult means live ...||LOH-178





Without emotional dependence, dramas and without guilt "I am my top priority" ...

For me, the family is important, mother or father, and they are above anything, there is no problem, it is my right, when I was a child, but after I became an adult, I became independent and joined my husband, my family was in the background and the family I formed was in the first place ... and so I have won that battle, I am still always the priority.

If we want to have healthy relationships and really want to relate from adulthood, we have to understand that adults are us and that we define the life we want to live.

I always see couple conflicts where the man gives superiority to the mother or the father, above the wife. He imposes on his parents regarding the decision-making that have to do with the commitments and agreements related to his wife. Practically, he asks permission for everything. That will always be a big mistake and the easy road to separation.

There are people who cannot cut that umbilical cord with the mother and take their marriage, and their own individuality, AHEAD OF them. They look like, little kids trapped in the body of adults! They did not cut the umbilical cord with the family.

Invisible family loyalties are a chain from which we must free ourselves in order to live together as a couple, giving it its rightful place, I am always at the top of priorities. So, if I don't want to lose my individuality.

We must learn to set limits from the beginning, in the emotional dependence with the family.

I have been married for 47 years @tibaire and from the first moment I decided to get married my priority would be my husband and children. The rest of the family stayed in second or third instead, you have to learn to set limits from the very beginning. I got married very young and that's why my marriage has lasted so many years because I don't let anyone get involved, or have an opinion in my relationship, or in my life.

It doesn't matter

Whether we obey our parents or not, whether we are rebellious or not, we simply have to live the life we have decided to live, in accordance with our ideas, with our desires and with our values.

Really to be an adult is to be emotionally independent, assuming life and experience as a proper element of existence and not of a mandate or a culture or an education that when we were children we were given.

We lack a lot as a society to see and understand family and couple relationships as they should be, without dramas and without guilt.

And if my family doesn't understand that, and they get impertinent, better I make that clear to them: that I love them, but I am the priority in my life.Is your family on this plan? I want to read them!

Janitze




Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia


Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited with Canva


Translation with |DeepL




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11 comments
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Prioritizing oneself is so relieving and I think is the best decision to make as we all have our lives to live but at the same time it is better to balance both

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Thank you very much, self-love is non-negotiable, I have there the balance to be able to give well-being to mine, if I am well, then, my reflection is light of love, and peace.

Happy Easter for this Sunday with yours @rayoo

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Self-love is very important.

Happy Easter too, love

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Excellent decision. Do not let the family interfere in the couple's relationship. The couple's problems belong to the two of them, no one else. I congratulate you for being clear about this.

!LADY

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Thanks @tibaire, and this being my priority applies to everyone around me.

I wish you to have a great Easter with yours.

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