As acquaintances | Writings of an Unbalanced Mind LXI
You were late for our appointment, you knew the exact time you had to arrive, but I know that your anxiety made you leave late, I am surprised that you were only fifteen minutes late, the truth, you arrived fighting against your desire not to leave, against the desire not to fulfill your desires for fear of sinking into them and never being able to leave.
You were afraid the first time we met, a completely necessary step to achieve what we want to do today, what you want me to do today with you, the reasons are always known, even if the question mark never leaves your features, even if you don't believe the moment you asked for what few people dare to say, to accept, to understand they want.
You asked me for the dress code, I told you there was none, that you could attend today as you wish, as much comfort as you felt, and that alone I know caused you more anxiety, making you uncomfortable is a pleasure you provide me with every day, even if you do not know it, even if we do not speak, even if I see you from afar and you do not notice my presence.
I know that all the expressions and gestures you make are because of your anxiety, you can't control it, and I know you suffer and despair, but you don't know the intensity of the enjoyment you cause me, you don't know it, and it is better this way, you would become a completely different person and the ecstasy that your mere existence causes would cease to exist.
Today I am going to eat you, and I will continue eating you for as long as you want to be eaten by that acquaintance, maybe until your being is over, maybe until I get tired of you, I would never get tired of you, your uncomfortable look and your strange half-sideways smile have me surrounded by chains that come from your feet, you just don't notice it, that's why I am the one eating you today, and for the rest of the time that we continue to know each other.
Como conocidos | Escritos de una mente desequilibrada LX
Llegaste tarde a nuestra cita, sabías la hora exacta a la que tenías que llegar, pero sé que tu ansiedad te hizo salir tarde, me sorprende que llegaras solo quince minutos tarde, la verdad, llegaste luchando contra tus ganas de no salir, contra las ganas de no cumplir tus deseos por el miedo de hundirte en ellos y no poder salir jamás.
Tenías miedo la primera vez que nos conocimos, un paso completamente necesario para lograr lo que queremos hacer hoy, lo que quieres que haga hoy contigo, las razones siempre se conocen, aunque el signo de interrogación nunca abandone tus facciones, aunque no creas el momento en el que pediste lo que poca gente se atreve a decir, a aceptar, a entender que quiere.
Me pediste el código de vestimenta, te dije que no había, que podías asistir el día de hoy como quisieras, en la mayor comodidad que te sintieras, y solo eso sé que te causó más ansiedad, incomodarte es un placer que me provees todos los días, aunque no lo sepas, aunque no hablemos, aunque te vea de lejos y tú no te percates de mi presencia.
Sé que todas las expresiones y gestos que haces son por tu ansiedad, no la puedes controlar, y sé que sufres y desesperas, pero no sabes la intensidad del disfrute que me provocas, no lo sabes, y es mejor así, te volverías una persona completamente diferente y el éxtasis que tu sola existencia causa dejaría de existir.
Hoy te voy a comer, y te seguiré comiendo por todo el tiempo que quieras ser comido por ese conocido, quizás hasta que se acabe tu ser, quizás hasta que me canse yo de ti, nunca me cansaría de ti, tu mirada incómoda y tu sonrisa extraña de medio lado me tienen rodeado de cadena que salen desde tu pies, solo que no lo notas, por eso soy quien te come hoy, y por el resto del tiempo que sigamos conociéndonos.