Failing severally never made me a failure

When you meet an individual who expresses no fear, you should run away from them. Fear is an element or brick of human nature, not necessarily from a negative perspective, but could serve as a precautionary measure.

I grew up learning to fear many things, such as darkness, failures, and even human beings. It was a state of being prepared for eventualities and hoping they would be those that could be handled. My background was neither that of the silver spoon nor that of the very brilliant chap. Yet, I tried to hide some of my inadequacies by highlighting them at social events and among friends as jokes. Nobody needed to know the real me, and I didn't have to embrace my shortcomings. I wore an invisible mask of "perfect pitch" that lacked anything.

Fear is good; it can push us to strive harder, though there is a possibility of doing it wrongly. Fear can make us pass over opportunities repeatedly, while at other times, it can save us from falling into traps. Imagine the fear of investing in a crypto project, which is probably because the research was not well done or the project was a scam. You may argue with me that not investing at all is a loss, but sometimes fear is good.

Thus, depending on the situation, perspective, individual, etc., fear could be positive or negative. Sometimes, we need to take action against fear, and other times, we just let the tide rise. My major incident and turning point were in my academics about a decade ago. Though I had struggled over decades to be among the average or top, there were factors that just wouldn't let my rise be smooth. So, I struggled, fell often, and rose each time. I had a pretty good life up until my second year of undergraduate study. The subsequent years made me look like a dullard. That's what medicine as a course can make one feel like. It was as though I could not distinguish left from right. I had a fear of failing and, especially, of being left behind by my classmates. The race was crazy; the curriculum was designed to pass the brightest students as average, while those of us that struggled received scores that were like our show sized.

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DISTINGUISHING FAILING FROM FAILURE

This was my breaking point. I feared failing and had the perception that failing meant I was a failure. Through a series of consolations, self-assessments, and encouragement from family and friends after I experienced the peak of failing as a medical student, I realized that failing did not equate to being a failure. True, I lost a year and even the bond of friendship with my classmates. What I feared the most came upon me, and rather than stay down, I picked myself up and tried again, not without careful review and assessment as to why I failed and how to come back better as a success.

My pattern and approach to my academics changed considerably, though, like a stagger, I became a reference point after devising easy-to-understand methods of studying and assimilation. Eventually, it paid off for me after one year of staying idle and the mental torture of being left behind. The subsequent years had me experience different levels of failure, but in all, I never accepted myself as a failure. I knew I would get to my goal and destination with a little further push and encouragement.

Thank you for reading. I would love to have your comments and contributions.