My confidence in being with a partner that is organized and minimalistic

My friend Dami told me he stayed on the farm, where he supervised and tended to livestock and some cultivated crops. It was about 2015, and I decided to pay a courtesy visit to Dami in his supposed farm house with another friend of ours, @samiwrites. Surprisingly, it took us about 30 minutes to drive to reach his location, and we were sure to see him come to fellowship or church service regularly. I would probably have disbelieved anyone if I was told that was where Dami lived. He wasn't poor (at least he didn't look it on the outside), as his dressing was mostly sparkling clean. He had some poultry and some birds in the fenced and gated farm house, along with some bleating sheep. The house he stayed in was partitioned into three; I guess one served as a convenience, while one of the two was his room. The roof had only the sheets without a ceiling, and I could not imagine the heat that would emanate from such a structure, especially during the dry seasons. He offered us a bench to sit on in the corridor. He didn't usher us in for reasons we understood, and we didn't ask to enter either. We knew the room was small, and his properties probably struggled to have a breathing space inside, or the heat would be harsh. I was humbled. Dami was all smiles even as he entertained us and made jokes. His girlfriend was studying pharmacy in faraway India, and thankfully, they're married with a kid, all of whom are now residents of Nigeria and doing better than before.

I was humbled by Dami's simple lifestyle, and I excitedly disclosed to the girl I dated back then (I wrote about her some time ago in this community) how simple and humbly Dami lived. I commended his simplicity and told her how confident I was that Dami would turn out excellent as he was mindful of his lifestyle, which featured how he lived. Dami reminded me of the humble beginnings I had while growing up, barely managing to survive, yet we excelled in our academics through extra efforts. Alas! My beloved girlfriend would not see it as I did. I asked her if she could date someone like that, and the answer was a big no. I was shocked because I knew I had been sacrificing a lot to make her happy. Our one-year relationship, however, ended on account of other reasons, and the straw that broke Carmel's back for me was when she made a statement about how I flourished with money: "AFTER ALL, I NEVER DIPPED MY HANDS IN YOUR POCKET." In fact, that message was the last WhatsApp conversation we had, and it took me almost two years before I got the courage to clear the chat. It seemed like a dream to me, and whenever I wanted to be sad, I would scroll through our chats and be reminded of that statement. I made up my mind not to go all out in any relationship, which was difficult but not impossible. Subsequent relationships have enjoyed significant financial support and gifts, but not as much as those aforementioned. My subsequent relationships have enjoyed some free time financially, but I have not been a super hero or lover. I do come in when the need arises or spontaneously without being asked. I've not had any demanding relationships, but I've had lady friends that exhibited traits of exploitation and have been served either the yellow or red cards (most times, I try to be courteous while affirming my limits). My belief is simple: my partner or friends have demands, but empowering them to be more financially stable is more beneficial to us all. I remember my girl friend valuing the money I sent to her when she started working and earning, and then she appreciated every kobo or penny that she received as a good will.

I believe we cannot have or own it all. We always aim to have another when we've attained that which we previously desired, making our wants and desires endless. My partner must understand that having the basic requirements of life is enough; the extras or excesses should be channeled into making life easier for others.

I'm mostly organized (as little as my clothes and even keeping to time), and this is evident in my work and home as I try to plan ahead and put things in order.

Unfortunately, there are occasions when things are out of order, and I may be too tired to be perfect or diligent. I remember my girl friend tidying up my apartment, and immediately I got home, she told me where she had kept each item she removed while arranging the house. I was glad because I knew I was in safe hands, this confidence is important for me, an assurance that my life and property would be organized and have enjoy simple and peaceful moderation. I hate having to look for items in the house. This only translates to the kind of lifestyle she equally has, which may be because of how organized she knows I am. I can be sarcastic when correcting someone who is disorganized; my message most often would be indirect, but oftentimes, it'll yield a positive correction.

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Thank you for taking the time to read. I would love to have your comments and contributions.