When the night comes

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I cling to the lyrics and beats of music to help me forget things or maybe dwell and overthink things. I search for quotes that resonate with my emotions to help me clear my thoughts or point me in a direction I think maybe where I’m going. I seek to find intimacy in places where I would be understood and heard. I guess it is the intimacy I need not to relieve my stress but to have bare my heart out and exchange my energy.



For years I fought the waves and lost myself in my thought and forget that I was the ocean.
I get scared that when the night comes, I will be awake all alone with myself and my noisy thought. I get so scared of the train of thoughts that run its wheels in my mind, always so conscious of the next step and decisions I make so that I may not make a mistake or repeat the mistakes of my past.



When the night comes, I lay in bed with thoughts raging to free when i try to sleep; and then they break free.

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  • "Are you good enough?"
  • "Don't you know you are getting dumb every day?"
  • "What do you think mum and dad think of you?"
  • "Why are you trying so hard to forget what you wrote to dad?"
  • "Why are you trying so hard to love someone you know will never love you?"
  • "You are not enough"
  • "You are dirty mentally and physically"
  • "What would you say to your child now?"
  • "Why do you keep keeping yourself to motivate someone who doesn't even need yourself?"
  • "Nobody listens"
  • "Everyone just seems so happy and in control of their life but look at you, you are a mess"
  • "A beautiful mess"
  • "What are you doing to build yourself?"
  • "You really need a therapy session"
  • "What about the promises you made to God, have you kept them?"
  • "Do you think anyone will want you?"
  • "Yeah, what are you at?"
  • "Why do you seem too pessimistic even when you want too optimistic"
    why don't you write a letter to that friend?
  • "Why does it look like everyone is moving forward and improving and you are not?"
  • "Those pictures you took it only they could give you what you feel"
  • “You are so clingy”
  • “Do you think he's tired of you?”

I let these thoughts follow stupidly and end up criticizing myself for thinking things; I look for books to read to finish or expel the thoughts then sleep comes.

THANK YOU FOR READING ❤️



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