The Phenomenon Of Being Trapped In Mental Solitariness
A feeling Of Being Bereaved
You don't entirely feel alone or lonely in life unless you get into a state of deprivation or bereavement. This means that being in a comfortable position in so many aspects of life brings a particular feeling of populousness. In this state, we find ourselves particularly surrounded with people, not because they totally love us, but because being comfortable makes us attractive, we seem like a beacon.
A lot of people see us as the solutions to their immediate problem, they don't see a friend, what they see is a means to an end. On the other hand, being deprived makes us particular to see our original state. Being lonely is more of a mental thing. Sometimes we go through really difficult things in life, things that we cannot even begin to talk about, and despite the fact that we're totally surrounded by people we feel like we're walking alone.
Some weeks ago, I was caught up in an uncomfortable situation which sort of made me unavailable, being someone who had a lot of people around me, I never bothered because I felt this people would come through for me in my most difficult moments.
Truth was, they never did. To them, they see a certain dispensability, it seemed that if I wasn't there, then they find no essence to my existence, they began to talk about how busy they were as the reason they couldn't come through for me, but then I remembered how I always came through for them in their difficult times.
During this period, I felt alone, the people who were once willing to listen to me suddenly became so busy. This brought a certain kind of fear in my mind. The fear of solitariness.
The Thin Line
But then it's a normal phenomenon which we sometimes do not pay attention to. One of the biggest proofs to how lonely we are in life is death. In death, people draw a thin line. This is when a human being outlives their usefulness, people would feign concern for you, they will put up an act of care, but immediately time takes its toll, they forget you like you never actually existed.
If you have never gone through an experience where you needed people, and they failed you, you wouldn't truly understand mental solitariness. It's that helpless situation that you find yourself when you're overwhelmed with pain, disappointment and finally anger.
When you go through this kind of experience, it makes it difficult to believe in people. You begin to aim to attaining total independence of your own and find it difficult to trust the intentions of people in your life.
Underestimating The Struggles
Feeling lonely can be devastating, you feel you majorly need a friend, a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on but because of the feeling or situation of abandonment which you might have experienced in the past it makes you feel you're walking your road alone.
Sometimes in life people often underestimate our struggles, they do not understand the things we're going through and the fact that we even find it difficult to explain, makes it even more painful. There are times we wish people can critically evaluate us in other to see what we're going through.
But then, we wish people can automatically see the challenges we're facing and when they don't, it brings a feeling of disappointment. At one point in time everyone wants to be surrounded with love and care but in a find ourselves in so many loveless situations especially when we don't serve any extrinsic value or purpose.
Lone On That Lane
It's can be difficult for us to face our challenges alone, especially when we know that nobody would be willing to be sacrificial or selfless enough to face them with us. This is a pure example of mental solitariness. Sometimes our life seems colorless and having the belief that no one would dim their light in other to sparkle us brings this solitude.
No one wants to walk alone in life, sometimes we crave to find people who have the same problem, challenges or issues as us and this is because we find comfort when we discover we're not alone in whatever peculiar pain we're experiencing.
Sometimes we feel that the only people who can understand us are those people who have undergone some of the things we have experienced and when we look around the neighborhood, look outside our window, watch the crowd of mindless people who are caught up slowly with their lives, we become enveloped with the feeling of loneliness.
A Hopeful Mindset?
At times, we might be physically filled up to the brim, when it comes to have acquaintances, classmates, colleagues or others who are generally close but when it comes to handling or dealing with life-threatening issues, that is when we'd know that we're truly alone. Our pain isn't transferable, the tears we shed don't bring sadness to others, only us.
The sleepless nights we have don't get to be felt by someone else, the endless times we fail and feel too weak to try again can only be felt by us, and coming to terms with this harsh reality makes us mentally aware of what loneliness is truly about.
We're all walking our paths, some people are lucky to have it good with them, some others aren't. Nevertheless, we might be truly lonely, but always feeling we are might make us lose faith and hope and this is why we should keep telling ourselves that we're not lonely, even if it feels like we actually are.
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My name is @Josediccus, a young Nigerian entrepreneur who is a Vlogger, A Psychologist, Poet, Sports Writer/Analyst & Personal Finance Coach. I'm using my contents as a process to create shared meaning as well as create expressions through which people on/off hive can relate. I believe content is a process to be enjoyed and relished and I'm up for any collaborations in my field stated above. Cheers
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