They Sent A Wedding Invitation To This Donkey.

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I went to my aunt's place yesterday, to check on my injured brother. (He's recovering from multiple fractures sustained on the arm 14 weeks ago) I got there wearing my short jeans and blue shirt. My aunt bemoaned that I still dress like an 18-year-old, well, I told her I was 16 at heart because deep down, sometimes, the things I think about are immature.

Imagine thinking about roasted turkey when I should be thinking about why I'm getting older and yet I don't even have any money. Although I also have my health to worry about. I mean, living with that fragile genotype and jumping from street to street like a deranged spider, thinking about money.


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I'm always the regular dresser

I mean what's the life of a man without money?

Nothing I guess...

I knew that my aunt was going to raise the issue of marriage again. But to my surprise, it was even worse than that. When I got there, she quickly brought out the wedding invitation of my immediate cousin. The boy is 27 and marrying the love of his life, they had personally written my name on the invitation card.

They wrote it in two different places in case I missed the first one and request that I be there. These people are on a mission to pressure me. She looked at me with a smirk and said "see this boy, you both used to play without pants in the rain back in the days, and now he's chosen to be responsible" I felt this lump in my throat, and I was sad for a moment.

Then I murmured, "But I'm broke". She wouldn't have it. She said women are a blessing and they bring multiple Wealth. I told her the last girl I met in school left me poor, she practically requested rice and chicken daily then left when she learned things about me. she wasn't a blessing.

This time I began to laugh, my own reality was a joke to me. She joined me in laughing, and after that, she asked me to her some allowance, I told her I was broke. I told her about how SBF ruined everything, she said she hopes the man would die so crypto can go up again. I laughed at her ignorance again, telling her it wasn't how it worked.

African parents can be gullible so it's possible to deceive them especially in techy ways.

I finally told her that crypto was going to go up in 2030 and she had 8 years to look for a wife for me. She said this crypto is wicked o, why can't it boom next year? So I told her it was the devil's work and she had to pray. She said I can do a wedding for as low as $500, it was funny. Although she wasn't really pressuring me.

My mental resolve was fragile, she knew this and always tread carefully. She will never leave me, but I'm happy I'm not in this situation alone. I have a friend, who is about 26, and his mother already brought a girl for him, the woman told his son that the girl was hardworking and prayerful.

The girl was always coming to wash and cook. This guy would make a mockery of this girl and he would always have elongated quarrels with his mom. I am happy my situation isn't as bad as this. But on a brighter note, I am going to attend this boy's wedding, I mean, he seems pretty pumped about the girl he's marrying.

He's always on social media writing shitty quotes about love. The picture of the girl is flooded on my Facebook, I guess that's what love does to people. I use to stop by his post once in a while to call him "senior man" of course I am about a year older than him, but the truth is, we respect people who have money, age is nothing.

I use to hope he'll ask me to send my account number, I don't mind being a beggar if he'll send me some free $200 to buy a turkey. On second thought, I might also not attend as well because of the cost of buying clothes and spending money to order rides back and forth.

I know they wouldn't want me to come to their wedding wearing crazy jeans, so I'll rather stay home and imagine the endless pots of jollof rice they'll cook, the Turkey, the goat meat, the chicken, and all. I would regret missing all that food.

But the reality is I find the concept of weddings to be very stupid, (yeah, I know what you're thinking... Don't say it) I hadn't attended any since I was 11, maybe it's because I still feel that we end up with people out of necessity these days and not really because of anything special. At least for someone like me, I think it's mainly out of necessity, I try to see beyond this but it just bites me back, since I'm technically not wired to settle for less, I might as well settle for necessity, and begin to take aspirin for my sacrificial choice.

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So excuse my phobia of marriage and all, and enjoy these stunning shots... I decided to take pictures of the wedding card they sent me. Boy, oh boy! Sometimes I forget what an epic photographer I am. What do you think of the pictures?




Interested in some more of my works?


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I told her the last girl I met in school left me poor, she practically requested rice and chicken daily then left when she learned things about me. she wasn't a blessing.

I thought you said you haven't been heartbroken by love before?

Hey, @josediccus, will you marry me? I have a phobia for marriage too... Maybe we could be married for 30 days, and then fake a misunderstanding or one unnecessary issue, and get a divorce.

History will then write it down.... These two were once married but it seems marriage isn't for them... Then the whole world will leave us alone 😆

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I thought you said you haven't been heartbroken by love before?

It wasn't heartbreak oo, I didn't feel any damage, it was my naive pocket that suffered hahaha. This was a long time ago so, 😅😅😅😅.

Hey, @josediccus, will you marry me? I have a phobia for marriage too... Maybe we could be married for 30 days, and then fake a misunderstanding or one unnecessary issue, and get a divorce.

Smart plan 😅😅😅 Omo, I don't think they'll leave you alone ooo. Even after they 30 days they'll only say you should try another person and again and again and again.

You know African folks now.

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It wasn't heartbreak oo, I didn't feel any damage, it was my naive pocket that suffered hahaha. This was a long time ago so, 😅😅😅😅.

Hahaha.... Ok ooo 🤣

Smart plan 😅😅😅 Omo, I don't think they'll leave you alone ooo. Even after they 30 days they'll only say you should try another person and again and again and again. You know African folks now.

Omo, you are right 😩🤦🏿‍♀️

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Well do not fret your prince charming might be 40 kilometers away, so it might be that your mind will change and the phobia will go even before the year ends hahah

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Hehehehe.... What about your princess or damsel in distress? Isn't she a few kilometers away? 🙄😏

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Omo I am the one that's currently distressed, no be any damsel.

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Haha 😂

I knew you were going to say that 😆😆.... But I thought you were going to put it this way, 'I am the one who needs rescuing'😃

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You sure do think like a 16years old at heart but hey! 16 could get married too lol

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I honestly wish I could reply to every sentence I want to react to but I can't 😂 and is paining me lol

Well, that lie you told your aunt about crypto going up in 2030... I hope it doesn't come true 😂 words are powerful you know 🥲

So you're 16 at heart, old man nor wan gree say e don old o 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

You are broke... Does broke have another meaning? Because the Broke I know is, not having money to spend... A whole you, the Boss? 😁 You dey whine me ni.

Please do and settle down with your own blessing in a woman, or else I'll be the one to bring a girl to your house and say that she's hard working 😂😂

Yes, you're an epic photographer, come teach me na 😏

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Well you can actually reply to everything, na you choose not to reply to everything now.

Well, that lie you told your aunt about crypto going up in 2030... I hope it doesn't come true 😂 words are powerful you know 🥲

Well I told her that so that she can get off my back, we know that at worst the bull market might take 18 months but it will inevitably come, so hopefully we can't see the worst.

So you're 16 at heart, old man nor wan gree say e don old o 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Lool bless God for the gift of life, it isn't easy.

You are broke... Does broke have another meaning? Because the Broke I know is, not having money to spend... A whole you, the Boss? 😁 You dey whine me ni.

It's actually the truth though, I'm broke, I recent ran into some crazy Familial responsibilities that left me peniless. So..... it's what it is

Please do and settle down with your own blessing in a woman, or else I'll be the one to bring a girl to your house and say that she's hard working 😂😂

Na you pursue me say make I leave hopestylist, by now we for don get two children. Close shop.

Yes, you're an epic photographer, come teach me na 😏

Come learn now.

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na you choose not to reply to everything now

Lol yeah, I decided not to... Make Hive nor come gather here for comment wey long pass post 😂

I recent ran into some crazy Familial responsibilities that left me peniless

Oh I see, sorry about that.. You'll bounce back in no time.

Na you pursue me say make I leave hopestylist

😂😂😂😂
I still dey pursue you o
Two children ke
Wahala o

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(Edited)

Thanks for the comments though, I appreciate. At least my comedy post dey sell small small hahah

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Lol... You're good with comedy really! Is there something you're not good at? 😂

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(Edited)

Loool no now, many things I want to learn. Crypto trading. I'm also trying to enter programing, my engine head no gree take the detail.

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Lol... Your head engine go soon take am, na small small sometimes.
You are doing well Boss 😁

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Lol. It's like aunties were created for these roles everywhere and they do their job diligently.

I got there wearing my short jeans and blue shirt. My aunt bemoaned that I still dress like an 18-year-old,

It's funny that she thinks you still dress like an 18-year-old. Lol, don't mind her everyone gets those comments from their aunties including us ladies. We dress down they say we look older than our age, we dress up well they say we look like slay queens or gold diggers, and the only way to win this battle is just being you.

I finally told her that crypto was going to go up in 2030 and she had 8 years to look for a wife for me. She said this crypto is wicked o, why can't it boom next year?

AWWW! God forbid 2030 is too far and that's indeed wicked some of us will die of hunger waiting.😰

I told her the last girl I met in school left me poor, she practically requested rice and chicken daily then left when she learned things about me. she wasn't a blessing.

Are you sure you didn't go for a slay queen? I suspect your pickup line promised her heaven, stars and moon. Ladies take the first impression seriously, sounds like you promised her a chicken and rice.😅

Anyways don't miss the wedding, you need to invest in just one wedding suite because this is just the beginning, you will be getting a lot of wedding invites in the next 8 years and you can't keep on being a party pooper! hehehe

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