My breaking point as a mother
Becoming a mum has made me more sensitive than I was. I tend to carefully organize things especially around my child to make sure she doesn't hurt herself.
She is at the stage where everything and anything she touches goes straight into her mouth. So I try so hard to clean the house and mop the floor every time.
I want to have a healthy child and this is the reason why I am being meticulous about staying in a very neat environment. I can't stand watching my child falling sick or even getting hurt. It will break me so much. So for me, it is better I take the pain to clean up always.
A long time friend visited earlier today and wore her shoe into the house. I calmly asked her to put her shoe outside. I told her the reason was because of my daughter and the need to ensure she doesn't pick up any dirt that may be under her shoes to put into her mouth.
This friend of mine made a joke about my words. She told me that children eat dirt and then asked me why I think that my own child is different. She didn't even stop there. She tried to even pick up a little concrete on the floor to give my girl to eat. In her words, she said all these things will make her grow strong.
I lost it at that moment. I shouted at her and asked her to leave my house at once since she wasn't ready to comply with my rules.
Like why the hell do people even think that they can come into people's homes and want to rule against some principles that have been set by the owners of the house?
She was shocked at my reaction and even mocked me by saying that I am not the best mother in the world and if I think that caging my child is the best for me, then I am wrong.
I cried so much and those last words from her didn't just go away. I heard them ring so loud in my ears for hours. Am I really a bad mum? I called my mum to ask her if I was being too careful with my child and my mum said NO.
I know sometimes I overreact when it comes to my baby. I am always careful with how people carry her or when we go somewhere that's crowded. I tend to keep my eyes close to her so that I can protect just in case something goes wrong.
Does that make me a bad mother?
At this point, I am just wondering if I am really overdoing some things. Maybe I should just let my child explore and find herself. But isn't it too early to let her play and hurt herself? What does she know? She is just 16months.
I really do not know what to think anymore. I am so pained at what my friend did to me today. I didn't expect her to say those hurtful words to me.
Did I go overboard? Where did I go wrong with my actions? I will like some advice here..