The Final Stance | 5 Minute Freewrite: Day 1908 | Prompt: everything is settled

I stood a few inches inside the gate and waited for the automatic system to unlock. I gave a quick glance back and upward toward the second floor window of my new apartment. A hand pulled back the thin blue curtain. He was watching. Waiting to see if last night's threat to leave was no different than several hundred other ultimatums.

The weather was accommodating. I was thankful those conditions made it easier for my travel mode.

With a small luggage, I stepped across the gate entry. One final look back. First to our car still parked in its allotted slot. Then at the curtain. It was closed.

Can you hear me now? I thought as I heard the taxi pull into the parking lot in front of the manager's office.

My suitcase secured, I entered the get-a-way car in the back seat. I clutched my purse and placed my hat next to it. A calmness passed through me.

"Where to, Miss?" Without turning toward me, the driver waited for my response.

I breathed in hard as the rattling in my chest hadn't eased. Bronchitis this past month with no resources for medical treatment had weakened my physical and mental resolve.

But then I remembered my resolve was weakened long before today. How embarrassing to continue asking my friend and confidant for loans. Fed up six months ago, I finally divulged the reasons.

Puzzled, she asked, "but I thought you were living large?"

Was I? The years passed quickly. But the drama lingered. Others would argue that living large didn't include operating outside the bounds of legal society. Looking over my shoulders. Sleeping with one eye open anticipating any moment trouble not of my own actions would arrive at my doorstep. Moving every six months to avoid eviction notices. Spending money I didn't earn. And lastly, saving not a red copper cent with no solid future plan or pathway.

Examining the reality of those scenarios truthfully, it finally sunk in and gave the me the confidence I desperately needed to break the cycle. That was the last time asking for loans. I had to help myself first.

I dropped my head onto my chest and prayed for strength not to unlock the taxi cab door and run back to the same unhealthy and toxic love situation.

The driver was kind. He waited in silence as though sensing my struggle.

A few moments later, I held my head up and flashed him a demure smile, then opened my purse to the compartment that held my one-way ticket.

Everything is settled, I thought, then voiced my confirmation.

"To the Trailways."