My Worst Experience As A Mediator
Hello everyone in the wonderful hive community. I hope you’re all doing well and enjoying the weather wherever you are. A happy new week to you all. Once again, I’m grateful to the hive learners’ community for their amazing initiatives.
The hive learners’ community has again presented us with another topic and I’m so glad to be participating in it.
Fights are bound to happen. Even partners, best friends, and siblings are not left out. I can’t count the number of times I’ve argued with my siblings. As the last born (the baby of the house) in my family, my parents were always on my side so I was very stubborn and would pick up a fight over the slightest thing because I know they wouldn’t dare to touch me. But one day, things got out of hand. My parents were not around that day, so my siblings (3 of them) planned to deal with me. They locked the house to make sure I didn’t run out. They taught me a lesson that day (although I pestered them some other days). I swore never to talk to them again and cried until my parents came back.
When my parents got back, they were so angry. I guess they didn’t want to be partial so they called us together and settled our fight. Then my siblings bribed me with something. This short story is just to show that fights happen even between people of the same blood, but the best thing to do is to reestablish harmony.
Yes, fights/arguments are bound to happen. Sometimes we have power over it, but sometimes we let our emotions get the better side of us. And one main reason why our emotions get the better side of us is that some people get angry over the slightest thing and when they get angry, nothing can stop them from doing what they want. But one thing we should keep in mind is that we won’t get anything out of malice, fights, or arguments.
At one point in our lives, we’d have to act as mediators between people (our friends, maybe) who are fighting. Some people go extreme when arguing to the extent that someone would have to step in to settle things. It amuses me when friends/people fight for months without talking to each other. I’m the kind of person that hates keeping malice. I won’t be able to sleep well when I know there’s someone out I’m fighting with. Though it is very hard to apologize, what would it cost you?
Have I ever had to settle a quarrel or fight between two people?
Yes. I’ve settled disputes between two people a couple of times, the worst of all was when I settled a fight between partners and I ended up taking all the blame. Today, I’ve sworn never to settle a fight or try to sort things out between two people who are madly in love. “The worst person you can ever advise is someone who is madly in love” this is my quote. Most times, you’d end up wasting your time and even getting blamed for it.
Do you know how guys are when they see a girl they like? They try everything they can to get the girl’s attention and to make sure they do everything to keep the girl. So this guy, my church member, although he didn’t always attend Sunday masses (Sunday services) regularly, but we became a little bit close when we met on the football field. He plays football well and that was one thing that made me like him.
Then one day, he came to church and saw one of my friends who had come back from where she traveled to. She was an altar server (an association in the Catholic Church), and that day she was with me on the altar. The girl is very beautiful; she had everything a girl wanted. I’m not gonna lie, I once had a crush on her, but I never told her. So after mass, he came to me and asked if I and the girl were close. I told him everything; how we met, how she told me about her intentions to join the altar servers and how I taught her everything about the church doctrine. After telling him everything, he asked if I could give him the girl's number. I refused because some people hate it when you give their numbers out to strangers.
So I consulted her, and she said I was free to give the guy her WhatsApp number. To my surprise, after about one(or two weeks) the guy told me they were already dating. I was actually very supposed because I thought she was a hard girl and wouldn’t agree to date guys just like that.
The guy started coming to church every Sunday, and even on Saturdays when we had to alter server rehearsals.
Then one Sunday, after mass, the girl came to me and said she went through the guy’s phone and saw a lot of things she didn’t like. Apparently, the guy had another girlfriend (well, that was what she told me). I was confused and surprised at the same time, I didn’t know what to say. Me trying to be a good person, I told the girl to wait and I went to call the guy and told him all that she said. He was not even angry at the girl for checking his phone, nor did he feel guilty that she caught him red-handed, but he turned everything at me and was very angry because I meddled in his business. He said something like “I don’t have the right to say anything about his relationship, he doesn’t need my help to fix things, and that just because I gave him her number doesn’t mean my opinion matters” he left angrily after saying this.
The guy was still standing there she didn’t anything when her boyfriend was shouting at me, but when he left, she turned to me and said I shouldn’t have called him and told him anything about it. She also left immediately.
I just stood there, in the same position. I was very angry and embarrassed. Like, I was only trying to help. Well, since then I made a promise never to settle any argument between partners.
Although, I wasn’t able to fix it, I heard they settled things themselves. Even till today, I still don’t know what really happened and how they sorted things out.
In conclusion, I think people should not jump into settling fights, you might end up hurting yourself . The best thing is to analyze the situation and think deeply before you do anything.