Outside Looks Fun 🏸 No Time For Being An Active Father, Cooking, & Homeschooling Anymore 🤦♂️
Even though I spend practically every minute awake either on Hive or behind handlebars, I still haven't come close to my goal of posting 7 days a week.
Will Things Change? 🤷♂️
For almost 4 years Hive has been my sole source of employment, with occasional brief stints of teaching Khmer online. Last night while fighting sleep and doing ASEAN Hive work, I pondered when the last time was that I actually enjoyed my Hive journey. It seems like at least two years since the last time I woke up and had the time to think of a Hive post idea and manifest it.
If I even dare work outside the computer for an hour such as creating these bamboo and rock steps I carved out of the slippery hillside, I find myself unable to make time for a post, cook, homeschool my daughters, etc. As the ASEAN Hive Community has grown, so has the time required to maintain it, and I had always hoped my wife and daughter would step up to the plate and learn how to be more independent in their Hive journeys.
My wife and oldest daughter's Hive learning journeys plateaued a few years ago after they learned how to basic markdown, posting, and commenting. Initially I had no problems taking care of all the behind-the-scenes stuff for them such as managing their Hive-Engine tokens, editing their posts, managing their crypto investments, passwords, and a many more random Hive-crypto related things.
A Thankless Job 👨💻
I always assumed they'd keep learning and eventually be able to take over their own Hive blogs and crypto portfolios, but after several years things have changed very little. I still spend an hour a day on my wife's RisingStar profile, thinking she' eventually take it over, but I don't even think she remembers what RisingStar is. Fast forward to present day, and my wife posts nearly 7 days a week, maintains a high level of engagement with other Hivers, but I am lucky if I can post three times a week and read a few posts to engage with.
All the hours spent every day doing ASEAN Hive stuff and managing my family's Hive/crypto journeys has left me with little time for a social life or hobbies, and when I do have time for a post, I feel so rushed that it's honestly not even enjoyable anymore, and for far too long I've felt the magic is gone from Hive for me. I miss the days of having time to think of a post idea and execute, but nowadays it's merely taking shots through the window or walking to the edge of the porch and snapping some shots of the fun others are having.
I feel even with my current limited Hive presence on my personal profile, that I still don't have enough time to be the active father I want to be, and do things like playing games with my daughters and homeschooling them, etc. On top of all of this, we just recently bought this land which has added more to my responsibilities than I want to accept. I find myself longing for the simple life of a rental room and having the time to go to bed before 3am like a normal human being.
Time Is The Master ⌛
With the understanding that ASEAN Hive is going to increasingly require more of my time, I bought a small moto so that my wife could take the kids to school and take some of my workload. Instead the moto has become something I ride, much too small, hurts my back, and now I spend 30 minutes to and hour each week maintaining and repairing it. Every decision I make seems to come back and bite me in the face, and the ultimate penalty is less and less time for sleep and freetime.
Sorry I'm ranting and this post has nothing to do with the pics, but I'm just not feeling it today. I love ASEAN Hive and have no intentions to take any attention away from it, but I would like to cook and eat more foods I enjoy, and keep the house a little cleaner, so I've been tinkering with the idea of shutting down my personal blog and becoming more of a house husband and repairman with time for sleep, focusing my Hive efforts on my wife and daughter's blog and the ASEAN Hive Community.
I like the feeling of being in control of my life, and it's so frustrating having a simple goal of posting 7 days a week and not being able to achieve it. Ideally I would like to find a way to continue blogging and being an engaged Hiver while still having time for sleep and being a father, but there are only so many hours in a day. It's obvious I need some changes in my life, but I've been reluctant to act because I'm a bit old-fashioned and still sort of believe a father's duty is to not let anyone know my workload and lack of sleep, giving my wife and daughters a worry-free life with time to enjoy doing things they love, while I die at my desk in my 40s of a heart attack due to lack of sleep and stress.
Sorry for this incoherent rant, but you all are my closest friends these days, so I might as well share my feelings, thoughts, and worries here where I have the most people that care about me.
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