The Ink Well Prompt #76: Roku’s Saving Grace
Roku's mother wasn't like most of her kind, while most had houses and places to call home, she stayed in the streets and ate from people's trash.
So, when she got pregnant with Roku and his siblings, she decided that since she couldn't cater for them, her best option was to leave them by the side of a road, and maybe, just maybe, someone might want them.
Doing this meant one thing, Roku had to take responsibility as the eldest and he would often have to leave the alleyway they called home to go on searches for food, and some days, when he didn't find anything, they would have no choice but to go to bed hungry.
One day, while Roku went on a search for food, he saw a beautiful garden filled with vegetables, and he thought to himself;
“I bet if I take just a few pieces, the owner wouldn't mind and my sibling could at least eat something not from the trash today”
He began walking to the garden but something held him back and he said to him;
“If I take this, I will be stealing and who knows if the owner also has a family to feed”
While he thought about that, he decided that he wouldn't take from the garden and instead, he would continue his search, but as he was about to walk away, the owner of the garden came out with anger and chased him away throwing stones at him.
Roku ran as far as he could and due to the adrenaline, he didn't realize that one of the stones had hit him, and that he had tear on his head which was bleeding.
When he finally stopped running, he decided to catch a breath near their alleyway, but he started feeling dizzy and fainted.
He was awaken by some bright lights and the smell of some delicious food, but he couldn’t understand where he was and who had brought him there.
Roku stood up wanting to run away, but he heard a voice saying;
“No worries little puppy, you are going to be fine, trust me”
He still felt agitated and scared by this strange person but, he heard something that made him feel safer, and that was the barks of his siblings.
Apparently, he was found by a nice woman where he had fainted and the nice woman had decided to help him and also keep Roku and his siblings which she had found after forever.
Finally, Roku and his siblings had a place they could call home and their days of struggle had come to an end.
THE END
Gloriously gorgeous story. A++++. Loved it❤️🤗💕💕🤗❤️
Thank you so much @itsostylish
I am happy you did.
It is always a pleasure to read an original take on a prompt. This is certainly novel. You had readers (this reader!) until the end, when a bark gave away the secret twist. Orphans abound in the world, human and canine. In this case, our sympathy is won before we know the species. You do a good job in evoking scene and emotional conflict. Your resolution is certainly satisfying.
A couple of suggestions: when you use the word 'child' it throws the reader off, and not in a way that you would want. A child is human, so use of the word here is more misleading than clever. You might have just said, 'eldest'. That would have created the impression you wanted without misleading.
Also, besides the word 'bark', there is no clue as to the fact that the protagonist is a dog. You depend on the picture to seal the deal. That is not a good device for writers. The story must stand on its own, without pictures. A good substitute here would have been a statement from the rescuer, something like, "Don't worry little puppy, you are safe now." That would have give an absolute resolution to the story and still have maintained the illusion you hoped to create throughout.
Again, a very clever story. The suggestions offered here are not criticism. These are intended to help guide you as you develop your already impressive writing skills.
Thank you for sharing this story with us. We hope to read more stories from you in the future.
Thank you so much for these corrections, I appreciate it, it was my first time writing about an animal so these suggestions were great.
Lovely story. Until the ending, I never really realized that you were talking about dogs. Very creative writing. I enjoyed reading your story. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much, I am glad you liked it.
Oh what an adorable story of sibling dogs. They are always loyal to a fault and Roku would be a great dog!❤️❤️
You still write beautifully!
Thank you so much, writing is very hard these days for me so it means a lot
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You had me hooked to the very end. I wasn't expecting the twist at the end, who knew you were talking about dogs or the whole time but those are one of the most loyal creatures on this earth and even though I have had bad experiences with dogs in the past, I would still love to only dog in future. Awesome story
And I almost felt like adopting a child right now. Lol. Very beautifully crafted and straight to the hook. The way you weaved your way through the story is simple and entertaining. Kudos
Your story certainty caught me off guard! That's some talent. Besides the dogs twist, I enjoyed your narrative from the beginning. Keep up the good work 😁
Nice one, I thought Roku and it's siblings were humans... The story was captivating
Thank you so much, that was the idea I was going for 😊
This is an interesting story @khaleesii,I will say well-done job and continue with a good job!
Thank you so much
You are welcome!
Lovely short story, Ophelia❣️ You had me !LOLZ ... I loved how you drew me in... so emotive.. and then... the reveal... and actually that brought an additional layer of empathy given the beautiful and unconditional love that dogs bring to human beings... and knowing so many of them live as strays in the backstreets. A heartwarming ending.
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