I WAS CALLED HBK FOR WHAT I DID TO HER

I found love quite early in life, I was still in high school when I started dating and although the girl was older than me, she loved me with everything she got. But truth be told, I've never loved her, it was the first time someone showed affection towards me, and I didn't know how to reciprocate it than to give her what she wanted (a relationship). It started out as fun, we were always together, talked about a lot of things, and were even planning what we would do when we reached 1 year in the relationship. But for me, it felt all weird. She would talk to me about years and us growing old together, but I couldn't imagine it no matter how hard I tried.

After some time, I started feeling the need to stay away from her, not because of anything she did, but because I felt she was just too clingy and I didn't like it. I was beginning to realize what I wanted out of life was different from what she wanted. I wanted to explore, I wanted more out of life, even back then. I've always felt I was made for more, but all she wanted was a simple life with the man she loved and I could not picture that. Later on, she started becoming unattractive to me because it was then I began to realize the kind of woman I preferred. I love my fair, tall, and slim. But she was dark, average height, and chubby.

She made me open my eyes to women around me, I mean before we started dating I never had a relationship in my head. All I was thinking about was school and video games 😂. And then she came and showed me there was more to life. Well later I realized what I wanted in life and she was not in it. I also realized that I couldn't continue keeping her and giving her hope of a future I wasn't seeing because that would make me unfair towards her. So I decided it was best to cut it off. It was the 11th month of our relationship, and I couldn't think of the best way to cut it off, so I waited for her to come online on 2go (an old chatting platform) and just told her it was over.

First, she didn't understand and thought I was joking, but I told her it was something I had thought about thoroughly and I had made my decision. Truthfully I saw the hurt in her, but I wasn't moved a bit. I never felt like I lost anything, I didn't even feel anything because to me my decision was right. Later on, I came to understand that though the decision was right, so I didn't continue leading her on after making her fall for me unknowingly, but I went about it the wrong way and that gave me the nickname HBK (HEARTBREAK KELVIN)

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