Ranking the qualities that matters

Every day, whether we realize it or not, we are building relationships - with family, friends, colleagues, even strangers. And in these interactions, certain qualities tend to stand out. We impress some with our kindness, others with our honesty or ability to listen.

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"Which do you feel is more important? Rank all of the following from most to least important and explain why: Manners, communication skills, relationship-building, honesty, generosity and humility."


I spent some time thinking about this, and here's how I would rank them - from the qualities I believe are absolutely essential, to those that, while still important, feel a little less critical.


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1. Honesty

Let's start with the big one. Honesty. If you think about it, honesty is the backbone of every relationship. Whether personal or professional, trust is what holds everything together. If you don't trust someone, no amount of charm, politeness, or generosity can make up for it.

Honesty doesn't just mean telling the truth - it's about being open, transparent, and real with others.
Being truthful is how we establish credibility and respect, and without it, nothing else really works.

Honesty sets the stage for everything else. It's like the foundation of a house - everything else builds on top of it.


2. Communication skill

Next up: communication. We all know that great communication is a game-changer in any relationship. It's not just about talking - it's about listening, expressing yourself clearly, and making sure you understand others too. Without solid communication, things get lost in translation. Misunderstandings, confusion, and frustration are just around the corner.

Being able to communicate well creates connections and ensure everyone is on the same page. It's vital for resolving conflicts, sharing ideas, and simply relating to one another.


3. Relationship-Building

Now, this one is a bit tricky because it depends on the context, but I'd argue that relationship-building is essential. Strong relationships are what sustain both personal and professional life. This is not just about networking but about building genuine, meaningful connections that offer emotional support, professional guidance and growth.

Relationship building allows individuals to thrive in a community, share resources,and create networks of trust and collaboration.

Relationships grow from honesty and effective communication, making this trait deeply intertwined with the previous two. The importance of relationship-building cannot be overstated as it open doors to opportunities, friendship and mutual support.


4. Manners

Good manner are important - they are the grease that makes social interaction run smoothly. A little "please" and "thank you" can go a long way in making people feel respected.
Good manners can open doors, make people feel at ease, and set the tone for positive interactions. So it definitely deserves a spot in the top five.

But being polite isn't enough on its own if there's no substance behind it.


5. Generosity

Generosity is a beautiful trait that reflects kindness and selflessness.
Generosity is something that often comes from the heart. Whether you are generous with your time, your resources, or your attention, it's a way to show kindness and care.

Generosity helps build goodwill and trust, and it can make a huge impact on the people around you.

But generosity alone cannot form the foundation of a strong relationship. It needs to be paired with trust, communication and shared understanding.


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6. Humility

Finally, humility. Now don't get me wrong - humility is a valuable trait, and it's something I think we could all use a little more of. Humility helps keeps us grounded and remind us that we are all learning, growing, and capable of making mistakes. It can help prevent arrogance and keep relationships balanced.

However, humility doesn't carry the same weight as honesty and communication. While humility can certainly make us more likeable and open-minded, it is not as essential in the day-to-day as trust or effective communication. So, while it's nice to be humble, it rank last here.


So, after evaluating these traits, here's how I'd rank them from most to least important.

At the end, honesty and communication are the cornerstone of all successful relationships. If you've got these, everything else follows naturally.




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14 comments
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I think I'm probably more or less the same but I'd put communication as number one. If you can't even communicate, I don't think it would matter if the person is honest or not because they can't even get their point across haha but that's just what I think.

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That's a really good point.
I can definitely see how communication could come first - it's such a big part of building any connection. I guess it just shows all closely all these traits are linked, and depending on the situation, one might feel more important than another.
Thanks for sharing your thought.

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Yes I agree all the traits are quite closely linked with one another. I guess everyone will have different ranking snd there's no right or wrong here

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So true. It's all connected, just depends on how you look at it.
That's the cool part about it. No one's really wrong - just different views 🙂

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I argued the other way - if you're not honest, communication will lead nowhere, as it's based on a misrepresentation of oneself. Without honesty, communication becomes manipulation. The result might be good for the ego, but it won't enable a real connection.

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@beelzael you're right. Honesty Is like the foundation. Everything else is built on top it. Without honesty, even communicating won't prove helpful. That's why it came out first in my ranking

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Can't say you wrong but if there's poor communication you can cause misunderstandings which could end up being worse than not being honest

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It's difficult to rank these items as they are all very important, probably equally important, but you've done a good job.

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Thank you so much @galenkp . I completely agree - it really is tough because all these traits are so important in their own way.

But it was interesting to try and break it down. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Wow, loved how yours were almost the opposite to me in ranking! Proves a point how it's hard to rank though hey?

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Exactly! That's what makes it so interesting- there's no one "right" way to rank them. It really depends on what experiences and values each person holds. I love seeing how different people think about it.

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