WEEKEND-ENGAGEMENT: Would you rather...
- Good evening dear Hivers, I wish you a happy weekend... Today, I share my participation corresponding to every weekend, among the proposals that our friend @galenkp brings us, I chose a question that reflects my sentimental reality.
Would you rather... Die before your partner, or after?
Before answering this question, I will make a small preamble, so that you can connect a little with my sentimental scenario... For more than 20 years I maintained a sentimental relationship with my husband, I must admit that our courtship and marriage were immensely happy, I always felt that of the two of us I was the one I loved the most, but he said the opposite and assured that between the two of us he was dying of love for me. One of the things I most enjoyed with him was traveling, since his great passion was always to travel, my husband managed to open a tourism company, thank God that was very successful, he achieved a good stability and achieved economic prosperity that allowed him to allocate much of his savings to travel, I am grateful that through this passion I had the opportunity to visit several countries.
Now I will dedicate myself to answering the question that focuses this post... There are two things I enjoyed with all my soul, travel and our good conversations, all my life I have loved to read and my husband also loved to read, that love for reading was a great channel to share different points of view and in that way learn from each other. One of our favorite conversations was the subject of death and all that it entails. My husband always told me that when the time came for him to leave this plane, he would prefer to go before me, because his love for me was so great that if I died before him he would surely die of sadness. For many years I told him the same thing, because I felt that if he died before me, his absence would lead me to a deep depression and I would probably lose the illusion of living.
When we had been in a relationship for 20 years, I discovered that my husband had a parallel life. What I most admired about him, which was his fidelity, completely collapsed. At that moment my emotional impact was so great that I did not have the ability to put an end to my relationship, at that moment my brain became my worst enemy, since it sabotaged my coherent thoughts, a mental battle began between what I should do, what he had to do and what he could do. Faced with these three aspects, fear and the inability to act occurred, since we are more afraid of being left alone.
Here my answer to whether I preferred to die before my partner or that he died before me changed. All the priorities changed, because the reality was different from what he had lived for 20 years. Perhaps what I am going to confess reads a little cruel, but to think that my partner died before me gave me great relief in my life, this would give me the possibility of not taking the step of divorcing and of going through the mourning of his absence. I thought that if he died before me, I would have the chance to live in peace and forgive him for the damage of his betrayal. As an irony in life, my husband was infected with covid, he was in intensive care for 2 months and lost the battle for life, now he rests in peace.
Perhaps some who read me think that I was not brave enough to quit, but when my husband was infected with covid I was going to therapy to solve my sentimental situation and make a decision with great courage and courage... In my case, destiny put an end to the story and he left the earthly plane before me!
Now I have his absence, but I live my day to day from absolute peace and calmness goes hand in hand with happiness... Loneliness is not synonymous with absence but with company!
- Thank you very much for visiting my blog... I wish you a wonderful weekend!
- The photographs are my own
This is a somewhat sad story, but I'm glad you shared it, stories like this, real life stories from real people, can be sorrowful or happy but I like to see people be their genuine self in answer to my topics, which you have, so there's always going to be happy and sad, positive and negative.
I applaud your bravery in sharing this and no, there's no judgement about your thoughts and how you dealt with this situation, you did the best you knew how and that's all that matters.
Hello friend, thank you very much for your kind words and for being supportive and empathetic to my situation. All my life I have valued feeling at peace a lot, I think that when we lose it our balance is fractured and sadness brings us closer to the abyss. I can assure you that now my vibration goes hand in hand with harmony and calm.
I wish you a wonderful Saturday, big hug! @galenkp
You're welcome, I read it and imagined myself in a similar situation and that made me feel sad. I can't imagine what it might have been like for you however it's good to hear that you're moving forward and things are going much better.
Thank God the storm has passed, although I must admit that it was not easy to close that wound, when I felt that everything was over, our song or its perfume or a happy memory appeared and it was inevitable that spontaneous crying would occur, that is something that I usually compare it to hiccups, because it comes without warning and leaves without saying goodbye. Sometimes life puts a blindfold on us, to make us understand that the light is within us.
I think it is admirable to say you felt this. Such a betrayal. I hope that your are well in yourself now and are looking forward and not back
Thank you very much for the visit... When I look back I see a fragile person, sometimes we lose our values for fear of loneliness. After that sad experience, I learned to enjoy every minute of my life based on self-love, valuing every part of my being, understanding that the roots of happiness are within us.
I wish you an unforgettable weekend, big hug! @meesterboom
I am a believer in God and I believe that if your husband left before you, it was for an important reason, although it sounds cruel, I think that if you feel relieved it is because you have no regrets, that is, you were a good wife and nothing bad it was your fault. Many blessings
I agree with you, I am also a person with faith and I think that everything that happens is written. Sometimes life surprises us with circumstances that we never imagined and that is when we have to find the tools that help us survive.
I send you a big hug! @yole
What a strong story, I'm sorry you went through that situation with your husband, the good thing is that now thanks to God you feel calm and there is nothing better than feeling at peace with yourself. Greetings!
You are right, now I can sleep and wake up feeling at peace, now I enjoy everything beautiful that life offers me.
Thank you very much for the visit and support, I wish you happy dreams!
That's just, sad. A beautiful relationship that I thought would last. But instead it gave you lots of heartaches and even had to go through battling that affect your mental health. But I am glad that you are brave to this. I am not sure if I can be brave like you, if its me I will just end it all. But well, heaven help you and I am glad that you are at peace rn and happy ❤️
I also thought that our relationship would be forever, I blindly trusted his sincerity and suddenly the glass broke into a thousand pieces. Thank God I feel good and I can now breathe and live calmly.
I send you a big hug, I wish you an unforgettable weekend!
Amiga what a strong story and brave of you to share it, I admire you! How sad that he was unfaithful when you admired him so much, but I am sure you did your best in the relationship and open this situation. Thank you for sharing it!
Sometimes we don't know how strong we can be until life sends us a trial by fire, we will always have the strength of the soul, here are the tools to fight and overcome all our problems.
Big hug!
I know it was not easy for you, but there is a phrase that is very true, better is what happens; as cruel as it may sound. If your situation was like that; it is because that is simply the way that relationship would end. A hug friend
You're right friend, my grandmother used to say that phrase, that everything that happened in our lives would always be for the best, although at the time we might not see it that way. Now, I understand that he was right, everything that happens is to teach us or to make us stronger.
I send you hugs and blessings!
Dear, @kristal24, I am pleased to read your post; the situation raised has to do with those scenes of married couples living in a false and irrational cohabitation, the decision to finish the task of the transcendent closure of human existence in the earthly space. Sometimes we have the alleys of our existence with no way out.
That was the closing of the circle. Peace and happiness accompany you.
Good morning friend, you are right many times the doors of our life close and we do not find the way out, is when we must breathe, reflect and find through coherence a way out that does not break our mental balance, because when we lose the horizon and the illusion for life, we lose everything! Thank God now my days go by with serenity and I can assure you that I am happy.
I wish you a fantastic Saturday, I send you hugs and blessings! @hiramdo
Heart touching life experience. Your points as to why your priority changed are valid and very understandable.
It was great and sad to have read this comedy/tragic story from you.
Sometimes when I look at the past I feel a little compassion thinking that I lived in a mirage and in a reality that was not the real one, sometimes I think that we are blind to love, maybe the heart sends signals that we do not know how to identify, but the important thing is that I managed to heal my wounds and now I can see my scar without feeling pain or resentment.
Thank you very much for your visit, I send you a big hug! @infynytymining
I don't think it was so easy for you to share this so first of all I commend your bravery and thank you for taking this place as a safe space enough to share something so deep and what must have been a trying experience for you. I want you to know that there's no judgement from me and I feel you did what you could have possibly done. It doesn't make you a terrible person. It makes you a human and I genuinely applaud you. Stay strong and I hope you're doing alright too. Lots of !luv💞
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Thank you very much for your kind words and for being supportive of me, the truth is that it was not easy to go through that situation, because it was a problem that did not appear "little by little", where one can begin to suspect that something is breaking. It is difficult to find a solution when you are in a sunny landscape and suddenly a storm comes washing away all the feelings and changing the story, it is sad to find out that your prince charming is the villain of the movie. I had the courage to share my experience, to help people who are going through something similar and feel afraid to take control of their lives, for fear of loneliness.
I appreciate your visit and your support on my blog and it makes me happy, a big hug! @jhymi
Whatever the issue is, I believe you're strong and brave and I'm filled with genuine admiration for you. No one deserves a cheating partner but you rose above it all and for that you're a true gem. Sending you lots of !luv and hugs. Stay strong my friend @kristal24 🤗
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You write very well, especially a particular part of your life that must have been difficult to convey. I think you are very brave, not just to write it but that you are moving through the emotions and continuing to take one step at a time.
I am very glad that you have connected with my story and have understood how difficult it was for me. Before, I felt that I had been a cowardly person for not knowing how to make decisions that would give peace to my life, but now looking at the past I think I was very brave and that gives me calm and peace.
I wish you a wonderful Saturday, I send you hugs and blessings. @emma-h
It's a very sad story, my friend, because after so many years of a relationship as beautiful as you thought it was, it's hard to imagine something like this happening, a betrayal changes everything, from our perspective of that person as well as the priorities as you mentioned. It doesn't sound cruel to me as you have expressed, what he did to you was a very great damage and it is not for less that you changed your way of thinking, life itself took care of giving place to everything.