My take on marriage

Marriage can be the most beautiful thing in the world or it can be an unnecessary cage that holds you down, it just depends on who you ask. Marriage is one of those things which you don't know what to expect until you have found yourself in it. Some people have certain expectations about marriage before getting married and when they eventually get married, they realize things aren't as simple as they thought.

I have seen people getting married all around me and have observed different sides of marriage. Some make it look fun and you will wish to get married soon while others make it look like it's the most stressful thing in the world. This has led me to conclude on the fact that marriage isn't perfect; it is not a "one size fits all" kind of thing and that's because people have different reasons for getting married.

On second thought, I have actually been thinking a lot about one question: why do we (I mean humans) get married? If you say to have children, can't that happen without marriage? Or maybe it's to spend the rest of your life with that special someone but then again, that can also happen without marriage. In fact, marriage doesn't stop a person from cheating, they can still do all of the things they do before getting married.

But since society has embraced the idea of marriage and it has become a norm, it seems abnormal not to get married. Getting a child out of wedlock is usually frowned upon in a country like Nigeria, so some people go into marriage due to peer pressure. Yes, peer pressure is one of the reasons some people get married, all their friends are getting married and their family as well isn't helping matters (especially for the females), so they just jump into marriage without thinking much about it.

Marriage these days is looking like a joke because a lot of them end up in divorce or maybe it has always been that way but we never notice because the Internet and social media were still in their infancy back in the day. But all in all, marriage used to be more sacred than what it is today, thanks to the high level of irresponsibility and promiscuity we have among youth these days.

People were more careful of who they picked as their life partner back then compared to what we have today. These days, we hear things like "I didn't know he was this way" or "She is now showing her true colors" and I believe the red flags must have shown a couple of times during the dating stage but some people simply ignore it or wrap it up with "I can fix him" or even the legendary "she will change when we are married".

Marriage is actually scary (in my opinion) because you never know what to expect and what you expect might turn out to be the opposite of what really happens. What if you stopped loving the person after a while? I see people celebrating 30 years or higher marriage anniversary and I'm like "Wow, so they have been together for 30 years? Don't they get bored?" They are just so many things that can go wrong in a marriage, and that's majorly why I said it's scary.

But despite the things that can and do go wrong, people that are dedicated and committed to making it work will make it work, no matter the obstacles they face. Marriage is for better or worse but these days, some people only stay for the better and leave when things go bad. Heck, some even end things when they get bored and want to try other "varieties". Marriage is simply not for everyone but if the idea appeals to you, then go for it.

If you're like the free bird that feels marriage is a cage, then don't get married. Marriage can sometimes be a burden because of all the stress that comes with it but I believe it's worth all the trouble. Nothing good comes easy but I believe it gets better, as long as you're committed to seeing it improve. So, before going into marriage, be prepared for the sour part of it because it's not always going to be sweet

Thanks for reading

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Twitter: @kushyzeena
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Lead image: Image by freepic.diller on Freepik
Edited with Canva
First image: Image by prostooleh on Freepik
Second image: personal screenshot


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18 comments
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There are lot who says she or he is not like this before. During the courtship many people hide their original behavior. So as possible, have a long observation in your partner to know fully about her.

A lot of marriage is unsuccessful these days through many reason but are still successful. It will depend on both parties.

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That's the problem these days, many people don't carefully observe their partner before getting married and they end up regretting it. Thanks for stopping by ma'am ☺

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Yes because some are not driven by love but by lust. Many will hop directly into sexual intercourse and end up being pregnant and then end up in marriage without knowing each other well.

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That's definitely true! Thanks for your wonderful contribution

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I seeing a lot of celebrity around the world who get married but only get a divorce in the end. Because of that I stop dreaming about a perfect marriage. I know there are still successful marriage out there but, only a few. Seems like marriage to other people become a joke now. Aigooo

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No marriage is perfect, I guess it's up to us to make the best out of the whole thing. Thanks for stopping by Ruffa ☺

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Well now times are even changing in Nigeria as getting pregnant before marriage isnt really a sin anymore, %90 of people do get pregnant before getting married for just one reason, to avoid the trauma of looking for a child after getting married

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That's true, many people do that just to make sure that the man or woman is fertile and there aren't any complications when it comes to child bearing. Thanks for stopping by

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And this has become rampant cause no one wants to end up childless

Oh! Thank you for thanking me☺️

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You said well about marriage.
For sure, there are people enjoying it but as it stands currently in the world, the percentage of people enduring it is far greater than those enjoying.

The newsline you highlighted, I listened to the the gist on radio and all I said was "God abeg ooo"

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😂 It's rare to see a man opening up about being beaten by his wife. It does happen sha but because of shame, many of them don't speak out 😅

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That's it.
It's just rare for a man to open up...to the extent of the issue getting to the media 😄

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Marriage can either be a blessing or a curse depending on whom we marry and how we handle it.

Most people get married these days because of social pressure. Some of them are really not ready for it but because the things happening around is so intense on them they go unprepared and end up with bad stories.

There is more to marriage than just the fun and happy times, it comes with a price. I see it like a double sided something, it has the good side and the bad side and the funniest thing about it is that the couples must be ready to embrace both sides. Tough times are bound to come too, it's not everyday that I Christmas. That is why it is for better , for worse like it is often said.

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Both the good and the bad are meant to be tackled by the couple, it becomes a problem if only one of them is doing all the work in keeping things together. Thanks for stopping by

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True, if the two would work together, all will go well for them... You are always welcome broh

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Marriage seems like an act these days , make believe or a show of pretense. The most heartbreaking part of it is the way people consider marriage to be some sort of achievement believing without it they have no place in the society. The primary reasons for the rising rate in divorce is because people now get married for the wrong reasons.

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(Edited)

Exactly, some people don't even know what marriage entails before jumping into it and before you know, the next thing is divorce. Thanks for stopping by

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