My Entry To The Cross Culture Questions #2

Hello Hive World!

It's good to be back after a relaxing Sunday. I have been wondering what to write today when I came across this prompt post by @selfhelp4trolls on the parent-children relationship. To participate, read the main post here.

1 What role do/did your parents play in your life?

I looked up to my parents right from when I was a child. They were and still are my role models in everything. When I turned 10, I lost my dad and it was a very sad period for me. Thereafter, my mother took up the role of my father and took care of my siblings and me.

I was quite a stubborn tom-boy and gave my parents a lot of headaches because I played more with my elder brother and his friends. Some of them would return home and report my bad behaviour to my parents.

My mother was the disciplinarian while my father was my friend. I told him everything I did at school and anywhere I went to. Losing him was like losing a part of me. I believe my mother understood this and became a bit nicer to me after my father died.

From that point on, I leaned on my mother and looked up to her for almost everything. She taught me how to behave properly and gave me advice when I needed them. That was how we became very good friends.

2 Has your relationship with your parents changed over the years?

At first, I did not understand why my mother would discipline me every time I did something wrong. One day, I remember crying my eyes out in my room. I was fourteen and it may probably be due to puberty. She came and asked what the problem was and I replied, "why do you hate me so much, mummy?" 😃

Silly girl! My mother walked away, she did not reply. She's a tough woman and that's one of the things I admire about her. If she was not tough, I don't know how we would have survived after my father passed away.

It was the next day my mother called me and we had a heart to heart, mother-daughter time. She laid everything out for me to see and that was when I understood things from her point. I think I grew up that day.

That was the point when our relationship changed. I respected her more and she treated me like an adult. We became best friends and shared secrets.

3 Is there anything you wish your parents would do (or would have done) differently?

This one is a bit difficult because I would be wishing for something beyond my reach. I would wish that my dad was still alive and this way, it would be easy for me to understand men better and not make some of the mistakes I made as a teenager.

During that phase of my life, my mother was very busy with her businesses (she travelled to buy goods from the border and resell), all in a bid to educate me and my siblings and give us a comfortable life. I wished she was available for me both physically and emotionally.

Maybe I would have told her some of the steps I wanted to take then and she would have advised me against them.

4 How are you similar to your parents?

I don't have many memories of my dad but I believe my mother and I are similar in so many respects. My siblings say the same thing. They say I am tough and don't take nonsense from anyone. 😃 I try to be approachable especially for my sons.

5 Do you prefer a more involved relationship with your parents or more distance?

Yes, please. If it's one wish that can be granted to me right now, then I would wish that I was closer and more involved with my parents.

I talk with my mother almost every day and sometimes on video chats because we are far apart and live in different states. Still, it's not everything I wish to discuss with her that we cover on phone.

I had hoped to visit her this last Christmas but was unable to. Hopefully, before this year runs out, I will see her and spend some time with her. She's an important part of my life and I am thankful for her.

These are my responses to CCQ2. Thank you for your time.

All the pictures I shared in this post are mine.